Monday already? Where did the weekend go? Of course, I’m here to give you a boost to start the day and week. Let’s get it off with a funny list that is posing as a joke.

20 Things to do in the bathroom stall…

1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, “May I borrow a highlighter?”

2. Say “Uh oh, I knew I shouldn’t put my lips on that.”

3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4. Say, “Hmmm, I’ve never seen that color before.”

5. Drop a marble and say, “oh shoot!! My glass eye!!”

6. Say “Darn, this water is cold.”

7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place six to eight feet. Sigh relaxingly.

8. Say, “Now how did that get there?”

9. Say, “Humus. Reminds me of humus.”

10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, “Whoa! Easy boy!!”

11. Say, “Interesting….more sinkers than floaters.

12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop it under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, “Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?”

13. Say. “C’mon Mr. Happy! Don’t fall asleep on me!!”

14. Say, “Boy, that sure looks like a maggot”

15. Say, “Darn, I Knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?”

16. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.

17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your “Cross-Dressers Anonymous” newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.

18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, “Peek-a-boo!”

19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing “Born Free”

20. When you’re in a bathroom stall take a Snickers candy bar with you and when someone is next to you, squish it in your hand and reach under the stall wall and say “You got any more toilet paper over there, This side’s completely out.”

Dude…I gotta try a couple of these. For the ladies, you’re always in the stall so this would a little easier for you. Let’s keep it moving with a video of a guy. An NBA guy. Kwame Brown. The video will explain all there is to know about him. A little background on him, he’s what we call a scrub in the sports world. My 76ers decided to give this guy a 2 year contract (second year is a player option). Just look at what we went hard after:

Yeah, that was bad. Love the draft. As you can see, Sixers were a finalist for him just a season ago. Alright let’s move on before I cry. Speaking of Sixers, here’s an image of the player that never was, Andrew Bynum:

 

Okay…WTF…? Google him. “Andrew Bynum hair” Google it. Look at his hair from this past season alone. And he never played a game. Just…yeah but I had some good laughs. Here’s a GIF. Now, this also involves Bynum. During his time off the court, as he was healing from surgery, he suffered a setback to his “healthy” knee…while bowling. So, crop Bynum’s head with who I guess is a pro bowler and you get this laugh:

 

The Sixers’ season hasn’t been the best. Welp, here’s some words to cheer me up while I wipe away the tears in my eyes from “allergies”:

I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people. Vincent Van Gogh

Humility and the fear of the LORD bring wealth and honor and life. Proverbs 22:4

And lastly, the Miami Heat were surprised it took them four game to eliminate the Bucks from the playoffs. Sure, it was a best of seven series which requires to win four games. But, the talent on the Heat would lead you to believe that they would destroy the Bucks and perhaps lead the NBA to cancel the rest of the series. Who knows?