Next week is Dallas’ birthday and I don’t know if we’ll hear from her (I doubt it). She did recently post on her blog though so go ahead and take a look at that. It was a good post as usual. Why don’t we get to this post though, huh?

The less routine the more life. Amos Bronson Alcott

“If you do not listen, and if you do not set your heart to honor my name,” says the LORD Almighty, “I will send a curse upon you, and I will curse your blessings. Yes, I have already cursed them, because you have not set your heart to honor me.” Malachi 2:2

Oh that’s messed up, homie. The video is up next:

Love it. I might have to give a list of my favorite stand up comedians. He looks to be in my top five. Anyway, let’s get a joke:

Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up.

But then the wife stops and says, “I don’ t feel like it. I just want you to hold me.” The husband says ” WHAT???” The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman. The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.

So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big dept. store. He walks around and had her try on three very expensive outfits. And then tells his wife, We’ll take all three of them. Then goes over and gets matching shoes worth $200 each. And then goes to the jewelry Dept. and gets a set of diamond earrings. The wife is so excited (she thinks her husband has flipped out, but she does not care). She goes for the tennis bracelet.

The husband says “but you don’t even play tennis, but OK if you like it then lets get it.’ The wife is jumping up and down. So excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says “I am ready to go, let’s go to the cash register.” The husband says, ” no no no, honey we’re not going to buy all this stuff.” The wife face goes blank.

“No honey – I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.” Her face gets really red she is about to explode and then the husband says ” You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a MAN!”

Now that’s what I’m talkin bout!

In weird news, we have a woman who was busted with crack. And it was taped on the crack of her…well, you know…booty. There are a few jokes I could hand out but I feel like at least one would be found offensive so I’ll chill. But, you read the story.

In good news, we have a couple of African students that made a soap that repels mosquitoes. Why is that especially important? Because by repelling the mosquitoes, you slow down the spread of malaria. And we know how deadly that thing is over there. Good job.

Okay, I’m in the middle of a heat wave so for all of you with 90+ degree weather, I say to you: Stay frosty.

-DALANEL