So yet another change. Weekly Funnies will be on Sundays and Weekly News will be on Saturdays. Daily Good Stuff will run Monday-Friday. DALANEL Review sticks to Thursday and the play and video series are done (two more videos this week though). As I mentioned in an earlier post today, the blog suffered a major setback and I’m scrambling around, trying to figure out if I did anything wrong. I don’t think so though.

Anyway, those of you that bothered to show up came here to have a good time. So let’s get to it. Whether it’s one view or 1,000, I welcome all at DALANEL. I couldn’t help but notice that the most viewed post of all time at DALANEL is Weekly Funnies 6. The next three posts are Daily Good Stuff posts. So, again, I think I’m doing the right thing here. I guess I’m stale.

A doctor at an asylum decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his nutty patients to respond to his commands.

When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well. As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled: “Up nuts!” And the inmates complied by standing up. After the anthem he yelled: “Down Nuts!” And they all sat. After a home run he yelled: “Cheer nuts!” And they all broke into applause and cheers.

Thinking things were going very well, he decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge. When he returned there was a riot in progress. Finding his assistant, he asked what happened.

The assistant replied: “Well…everything was fine until some vendor walked by and yelled, `PEANUTS!’.”

Ben was working at the lumberyard one day, pushing a tree through the saw, when he accidentally cut off all of his fingers. He quickly ran down the street to the emergency room. The doctor quickly examined his hands and asked for the fingers.

“I don’t have the fingers.” Ben gasped through his pain.

“What do you mean you don’t have the fingers? We aren’t living in the Dark Ages here! I can reattach those fingers and you’d be as good as new! Why didn’t you bring the fingers?”

“Gosh, Doc!” Ben yelled sarcastically. “I guess I couldn’t pick ’em up!”

That’s funny! I’ve been avoiding this picture almost all year. But, I gotta do it; get it out of the way:

 

Yeah. This video is just so awkward. Painful.

 

Oh…my NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

And a joke for the road:

This little old lady goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor I have this problem with passing gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. It never smells and it’s always silent. As a matter of fact I’ve passed gas at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office. You didn’t know I was passing gas because it doesn’t smell and it’s silent”.

The doctor says “I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week.”

The next week the lady goes back. “Doctor,” she says, “I don’t know what you gave me, but now my passing gas… although still silent, it stinks terribly.”

“Good”, the doctor said, now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, we’ll start to work on your hearing.

Sorry I’m still scared from that guy earlier. Not sure wh-OH MY GOD EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

-DALANEL