Yeah, I don’t normally go all in on my personal life like this but writing is always a way to vent out feelings. And perhaps there’s a good message in here too. Recently, I have come to terms with the end of what used to be a fantastic relationship. As you may know, I have quite a few relationships where people are sisters to me. I guess I lost a sister.

Most of us have that relationship where you’re really close. You talk about everything and anything. The most serious and the most silly. By the way, this wasn’t a romantic relationship. She’s a family member. Anyway, we had great times and memories. But, over time, we drifted.

Once you have to actually schedule a time just to talk to someone, the relationship isn’t as strong as you’d like.

Yeah, I’ll be honest, and I say this even though I may seem like I’m not being truthful, but I feel like she didn’t do enough to keep things together for us. It takes two; I get it. But, I still feel like I gave it my all while she gave it only 50%. And, if she did give 100%, and it still wasn’t working, then the relationship still has to end. Either way, this conclusion seemed inevitable.

It seemed like this was destined to happen for the past two years. And yet, we still tried. But it was like trying to resuscitate a dead person. At some point, ya gotta call it. Pull the plug, bro. That’s what I did a few days ago. I finally said it’s over and there’s no going back.

Sheesh, this sounds like a breakup.

Hey, we’re family so it’s not good bye. For me, there’s no hard feelings; never were. I still love her and that’ll never change. But, the relationship that once was is gone. That’s all.

So what happens now? We’re not talking about the death of a loved one, either. The person is still around and a part of your life. For me, I thing it’s important to not have any regrets. And a lot of regret of a great relationship ending like this is “what could’ve I done to save it?”. And my answer to that is: Nothing. Like I said before, I don’t see what more I could have done to make things work. Keep things alive. And, I guess that goes for any type of relationship.

So it’s easy to move on if you really feel like you gave it your all. At least, it was for me. But there is a period of pain. There’s always pain when we lose something that was valuable to us. And then we take time for healing. I think I’m still healing in the sense that I still dwell on what we had.

But…

There’s little frustration. A little anger. I mean, I thought we had a great relationship but it seemed like she wasn’t as committed. I look at myself: Maybe I thought we had something more than what it was. But, it seemed like we had the same understanding of where the relationship was. So yeah, I’m like, “I’m not worth it to you?” If I were an important person in your life, as you said I was, why didn’t you give it your all to make things work?

So I guess that goes back to the, “she gave it her all and it still didn’t work” train of thought. Eh, but I mean you still can’t even shoot me a text asking how my day was or something? Like, I did this all the time. So I wanted to give her the chance to do it. I always initiated the convos. Her turn.

Nope.

I experimented with her and I decided to stop texting first, and see how long before she would check on me. How long? three weeks.

I’m done.

Clearly, she’s still alive. I would’ve heard something. Her social media life is in full swing, including a few “I’m bored” tweets. Oh, not bored enough to chat with your so-called great friend, huh? And so that’s why I feel like she didn’t give it her all. Am I crazy for thinking that?

You know something, I was going to confront her on this, but she wouldn’t care. So, I’m just gonna go on home. I’m going to sit back, with my nice cup of tea, and watch TV. And then I’m going to blog. And write. And we’ll see what happens.

Again, there’s no hard feelings. I guess I had to wake up and smell the death of a great relationship coffee. I would hope you do the same thing. Some things, good and bad, have to end. And, while it hurts and we don’t understand it, we have to move on. Let things go and move on.

And in my case, you deserve better. Work on yourself. If there’s self confidence issues, build yourself up. If you can’t love yourself, how can others love you? And, once you realize how special you are, then you know what you want you want from others.

Is there any hope to get things back to the way it used to be? Yeah, I guess. But, I seriously doubt it. Am I going to dwell on it? Nope. One day, I’m going to wake up and not care anymore. And it’s gonna be soon.

Don’t feel bad if you did all you could and it didn’t work out. It just wasn’t meant to be. Maybe later or never.

-DALANEL