Dante’s Opinion: Why do people ask “What’s up”?

This is…this could turn into a rant. Here’s the question:

Why do people ask questions like “what’s up” or “how is your day” when they really don’t care at all? It’s the same dialogue with the same answer. I don’t get why this is used. It literally has no meaning. When I’m asked “what’s up” or “how’s it going” all I do is repeat what they say or say “nice”. And it is very annoying. I know it’s considered good etiquette, but how? There is no reason for it. If you really want me to tell you how my day is, let me think about it, tell you, and give details. If you don’t care about my day, then I see no point in asking the question.

It’s actually just a way to be polite. It’s a greeting for saying hello. Indeed, they actually don’t want to know what’s up.

Thing is, it’s stupid.

Give me a break. It’s very annoying. I don’t ask people a question if I don’t want an honest answer. What if I decided to tell you exactly what was up? Are you sure? I typically say “Hey” and other stuff when I greet. I have no idea where asking people what’s going on without expecting an answer came from. I can’t get over it.

Here’s an example for why you can look like a fool if you ask these things without expecting an answer. So, I’m a security associate at my church. I sit at the desk. People come in and out of the building. Okay, fine. But, what if someone has a meeting and walks in? They walk in; swiftly, towards the room they need to meet in. This guy asks “how are ya?” and I say “I just found out I have cancer”.

Now what? Hm?

You’re in a hurry. You could have just been honest and simple and say “good evening”, but noooo, you thought you were being polite by asking a question you don’t care for the answer to. Now you’re stuck because I decided, huh, I guess I should answer the question! I mean, really!

You know what? I’m going to snap one day. Either I’m going to tell people what’s going on in an effort to stop them from asking, or I’ll just ignore it. This has to end. In fact, starting today, I’m going to make sure I stop asking. I rarely do but now it’s a mission. Be the change you want to see.

It’s okay. We can end it today. Today.

Dante’s Opinion: When would you invite someone to Thanksgiving Dinner?

Fun question:

I guy I work with just left foster care in June when he turned 18. He’s kind of quiet and a loner so I doubt he has many friends. I feel bad for him and I’m going to invite him to my house for Thanksgiving with my family. How far in advance do I ask him?

First of all, really nice of you to want to extend this invitation. Actually, I think you can ask now, but keep a few things in mind:

  • Make sure it’s as flexible as possible for him. “If you want, we’d love to have ya”. If he’s quiet and a loner, he may need time to process spending an entire evening with people he doesn’t know. It’ll help if he doesn’t feel like he HAS to accept the offer. Speaking of that…
  • Make sure you don’t ask for an answer at that time. “Think about it” is perfect. He may not be sure; again, he needs to process the offer. Someone he knows or is possibly more comfortable with may extend an invitation.
  • Be careful of being aware of his presence. Again, he’s with a bunch of people he doesn’t know. Sitting down while the rest of the family yaps away at familiar things and inside jokes will be awkward. You’ll need to be sure to accommodate him.
  • I said you could ask him now. I think asking just weeks before might be too late. It’s the end of September as I write this, but this will be scheduled to show up probably the first week of October.

2016 Was A Very Bad Year. I Am Done

This is one of those years…a terrible year…a year that has defeated me once and for all. I am throwing in the towel.

And that’s not a bad thing.

This is going to be one of the darkest posts you will ever read on this site. But hold on because I would not share this with you on a site called Dante’s Optimism. You have to believe that this will end on a high note. I promise. But, this is going to hurt.

Look, I know when I’ve been defeated. I know when to call it a day. You can’t win them all. 2016 really kicked my butt. I’m tired. I am very sore. I feel like I’ve watched a Tyler Perry marathon.

I am convinced that no matter what happens the rest of this year, overall, this year will go down in my history as bloody. There is no point in continuing; I’m going to look forward to 2017. I’m going to save myself for that.

It’s like an injury, especially in a professional athlete’s world. Sometimes, a major injury wipes out your season. You spend the rest of the season getting yourself together; ready to get back in the game next year. That’s where I am at.

The other side of it is, if you try to play through the injury or come back too soon, you risk making things worse or at least extending the heal time. You must take a seat and avoid that activity until you are back to normal.

This year has been very painful. Very gray. Grey. I don’t know what the heck the preferred spelling is. I had three wins this year:

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Dante’s Opinion: Are people being rude to hog up the sidewalk?

The question for today is a little odd.

I was going for a walk and a couple people who were walking kept walking so slow in front of me and there was no room for me to walk around. I tried to walk around them but they kept taking up the whole entire sidewalk with walking in the middle. I even said: “Excuse me, could I please get through?” Then the person just looked at me funny and acted like I was crazy for asking. The guy who was with her said: “You need to learn to wait. She is walking as fast as she can!” Then I argued: “That’s not the point. The point is you guys are hogging up the entire sidewalk when you have room on the other side to stay to the right when people are trying to pass!” Were they rude or was I being rude?

My first instinct is to simply move around them if there’s a problem. Go in the street or grass area. I mean, that’s what I would do. But, I’ll play along with your question.

This is really interesting because I never heard of this happening. Like I said, you would walk around via outside of the sidewalk. But, I like what you said when asking to get through. Problem is, I wonder about the tone of voice. If you sounded harsh, you may have escalated the situation. So then, you were being rude.

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Is it Wrong to Ask God for Proof of Himself, Other Than the Bible?

Here’s an interesting question:

Is it wrong to ask God for proof of himself, other than the bible?

No, it is not. That’s the beauty of it all. In fact, people in the Bible asked God to prove Himself. My favorite story is Gideon. I’ll just paste the passage here:

 So Gideon said to God, “If You will save Israel by my hand as You have said—look, I shall put a fleece of wool on the threshing floor; if there is dew on the fleece only, and it is dry on all the ground, then I shall know that You will save Israel by my hand, as You have said.” And it was so. When he rose early the next morning and squeezed the fleece together, he wrung the dew out of the fleece, a bowlful of water. Then Gideon said to God, “Do not be angry with me, but let me speak just once more: Let me test, I pray, just once more with the fleece; let it now be dry only on the fleece, but on all the ground let there be dew.” And God did so that night. It was dry on the fleece only, but there was dew on all the ground.

That passage was from Judges 6:36-40. This isn’t the only time Gideon asked God to prove Himself. But, this is my favorite. He asked God to basically go against the laws of nature…twice. Absolutely fantastic.

Don’t be afraid to ask of God in this way. Approach with respect and adoration. You are not challenging Him. If anything, you are seeking confirmation. Yet, God wants us to rely on faith. So, His response will be one of two things. Either he’ll accept the test, or ask you to jump anyway. But, I think it’s no problem to ask. Ya never know how God will reveal Himself.

Dante’s Opinion: Do You Think Truth is Worth the Pain?

Here’s the simple question:

Do you think truth is worth the pain?

Truth can hurt. I mean, not always but yeah, it can hurt. The thing about it is, why?

Truth can hurt because if the truth is not what you want to hear…

It’s actually a flawed mental state to avoid the truth because it hurts. You have the illness. That’s the truth. You’re gonna be in pain with that truth but, without it, you’re in pain anyway.

Alright so then what about this: In the event the truth can hurt, to me, a lie hurts even more. There is more damage in a lie. Sooo, this is another reason why truth is worth the pain.

Truth is worth the pain.