Daily Bible Verse

Daily Good Stuff 73

Alright looking good, looking good. We’re at day 73 and I’m actually a little surprised. Today we’ll get into more stuff since I’ll be adding news updates as well. Let’s do with the joke:

A blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom.

She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, “I’ve kidnapped you.”

She then wrote a big note saying, “I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde.”

The blonde then pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, “How could you do this to a fellow blonde?”

Cruel world we live in. Alright on to the video:

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Daily Good Stuff 71

Let the good stuff keep on rollin’! You already know it’s joke time:

A old blind man and his seeing eye dog walked into a store. When he gets in, he starts swinging his dog around. Upset by this, the manager of the store demanded to know what he was doing. The blind man calmly replied, “I’m just lookin’ around.”

Yup, I can see that. Video time!

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Daily Good Stuff 70

We made it to day 70! If you’re new here, Daily Good Stuff is a post that I do daily to shed light on the good stuff going on in the world. The list of items included are joke, scripture, funny images, funny video, inspirational quote, good news, weird/funny news and satire news. Not each one makes it everyday but for the most part, yeah it’s there everyday. I’m working on adding a new feature as I mentioned yesterday. For now, let’s get this day started with a joke:

A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said “Why did you put up such a fight?” To which the man promptly replied “I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!”

Uh…yeah and here’s a video. Listen, people have great ideas and then others…don’t:

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Daily Good Stuff 69: Changes for the Better

So it’s Tuesday and that means another day of good stuff. I’m thinking about ridding the news as they are slow. But they won’t be gone; it’ll probably go to once a week. That means I’ll probably add at least one more daily feature to make up for the absence of news. And normally I go with a  random order but I think I’m going to go with a set layout: Joke, video, images, quote, scripture, and eventual new feature. And then wrap it up with the news once a week. So, yeah.

Ten Things You Wouldn’t Know Without Movies

  1. It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.
  2. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
  3. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
  4. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
  5. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts – your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
  6. No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
  7. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
  8. You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
  9. Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it’s the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
  10. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.

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Daily Good Stuff 68

Alright so it’s day 68. I must not be doing or keeping things fresh since viewership has declined mightily. I have to figure out how to spice/shake things up. In the meantime, I shall keep up the current effort until I can figure out what to do next. It’s kinda interesting though because I got 3 new subscribers last week and my blog following is almost at 500 so while the viewing is low, the quality is still good in a sense. I don’t know; I guess I need to do a better job of spreading the word. Here’s a joke to lift the post off.

After being with her all evening, the man couldn’t take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened.

When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, “I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.”

“Thank heavens,” his date replied. “If yours hadn’t, mine would have had to!”

 And a couple of images:

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Daily Good Stuff 67

And so another week begins. Or the weekend ends. Or whatever; I don’t know. Let’s get it on with a joke:

A guy goes to a doctor and says, “Doc, you’ve got to help me. My penis is orange.” Doctor pauses to think and asks the guy to drop his pants so he can check. Damned if the guy’s penis isn’t orange. Doc tells the guy, “This is very strange. Sometimes things like this are caused by a lot of stress in a person’s life.”

Probing as to the causes of possible stress, the doc asks the guy, “How are things going at work?” The guy responds that he was fired about six weeks ago. The doctor tells him that this must be the cause of the stress. Guy responds, “No. The boss was a real asshole, I had to work 20-30 hours of overtime every week and I had no say in anything that was happening. I found a new job a couple of weeks ago where I can set my own hours, I’m getting paid double what I got on the old job and the boss is a really great guy.” So the doc figures this isn’t the reason.

He asks the guy, “How’s your home life?” The guy says, “Well, I got divorced about eight months ago.” The doc figures that this has got to be the reason for all of the guys stress. Guy says, “No. For years, all I listened to was nag, nag, nag. God, am I glad to be rid of that old bitch.” So the doc takes a few minutes to think a little longer.

He inquires, “Do you have any hobbies or a social life?” The guy replies, “No, not really. Most nights I sit home, watch some porno flicks and munch on Cheetos.”

This was a brilliant joke. I hope you got it, and if you didn’t, please ask somebody. Alright so let’s take a look at these images:

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