DALANEL

Daily Good Stuff 95: Father’s Day

It’s Daddy day! In my elementary school, they would invite the dads to school for lunch in what was called “Dads and Doughnuts”. Moms were with muffins. Yum. My dad was one of just a few that would show up though. Yeah. Plenty of moms though. Anyway, it’s a father post today and we’ll get it kicked off with a joke.

A little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is working, and asks him, “Daddy, what’s sex?” Her father sits her down, and tells her all about the birds and the bees. He tells her about conception, sexual intercourse, sperms and eggs. He goes on to tell her about puberty, menstruation, erections, wet-dreams…and he thinks, what the heck, and goes on to tell her the works. He covers a wide and varied assortment of sub topics and by the time he’s finished, his daughter is somewhat awestruck with this sudden influx of bizarre new knowledge. Her father finally asks: “So what did you want to know about sex for?” “Oh, mommy said to tell you lunch would be ready in a couple of secs…”

When I realized the punch line for this joke I fell out laughing. That’s a lie I just laughed out loud for a few “secs”. Brilliant. If you don’t get it, I’m sorry but ask somebody or keep reading until you do get it. In the meantime, here’s a video of dads but you knew it would be about dads:

Continue reading →

The Power of the Tongue

When we realize that our own words are the ultimate weapon, we’ll be able to do great things. Take God for instance. He created the world by speaking it into existence. Yes, if you don’t know, the universe was made, not by hand, but by the tongue. That’s how great God is. That’s how powerful He is.

And He made us in the same way. Yes, we are made in His own image. People can misunderstand this. It is not our physical beings that are in God’s image. It’s our spirits. I’m not going to get into that because that’s not the theme of this post. Anyway, we have to realize that if we say something enough, we can speak into existence. (verse)

And so that saying “watch what you say” and other warnings about what we say are really true. So now what?

Continue reading →

Daily Good Stuff 94

Saturday. The weekend. We’re getting closer to summer time! At least for places that get 70+ degree weather. Well why don’t we get started with a joke.

With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65 year old woman has a baby. All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family. When they ask to see the baby, the 65 year old mother says “not yet.” A little later they ask to see the baby again. Again the mother says “not yet.” Finally they say, “When can we see the baby?” And the mother says, “When the baby cries.” And they ask, “Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?”

The new mother says, “because I forgot where I put it.”

And here I thought losing keys was bad enough! You like funny videos, right? I thought maybe a song would shake things up. I always liked this song:

Continue reading →

Daily Good Stuff 93

Another day, another bunch of daily good stuff. And it’s Friday so that’s cool. Are you ready, kids!? Then. Let’s. Do. This.

It was a stifling hot day and a man fainted in the middle of a busy intersection. Traffic quickly piled up in all directions, so a woman rushed to help him. When she knelt down to loosen his collar, a man emerged from the crowd, pushed her aside, and said, “It’s all right honey, I’ve had a course in first aid.” The woman stood up and watched as he took the ill man’s pulse and prepared to administer artificial respiration. At this point she tapped him on the shoulder and said, “When you get to the part about calling a doctor,I’m already here.”

Yikes, bruh. And now this video that you may have run into before.:

Continue reading →

Daily Good Stuff 92: Get Dirty

Oh boy. If you don’t like dirty jokes or simply don’t have a dirty mind, then turn away now! It’s time for the freaks to come on out. I have to admit that I have a terrible mind. So, so, SO, dirty. I’ve been putting this theme off for a couple of weeks now but I have to do this. Now is the time. If I lose followers, I understand. Let me tell you though that the video will not be graphic. No nudity and stuff like that. I’m not THAT crazy…(yes I am).

Two Men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke. He asks the other guy if he has a lighter. He replies ” Yes i do ” and hands the other a 10 inch long BIC lighter. Surprised the guy asks “Where did you get this?” The guy replies ” Oh I have a personal genie” The first man asks “Can i make a wish? ” Sure says the other man “Just make sure that you speak clearly cause he is a little hard at hearing” “Ok I will” says the other as he rubs the lamp a genie appears and asks the man what he wants. The man says ” I want a Million Bucks ” The genie says OK and goes back to his bottle and 10 seconds later a million ducks fly over head. And the guy says to the other ” Your genie really sucks at hearing doesn’t He?” The other man replies “I know, do you really think I asked for a 10 inch BIC”

Yup, we’re ready for liftoff! A video asking if you truly have a dirty mind:

Continue reading →

Daily Good Stuff 91: Superheroes!

Open wide and say “hero”! We have a superhero themed post today. So let’s do our normal lineup and start with a joke:

Batman and Robin are camping in the desert, set up their tent and are asleep.
Some hours later, Batman wakes his faithful friend. “Robin, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” Robin replies, ” I see millions of stars.”
“What does that tell you?” asks Batman.
Robin ponders for a minute.
“Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Chronologically, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell you, Batman?”
Batman is silent for a moment, then speaks: ” Robin, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent.”

This is an old joke. By old I mean it’s been on here before but the names are different. Instead of Batman, it was Sherlock Holmes. And instead of Robin, it was Watson. Still a good joke. Alright, so heroes start out as comics. And my favorite Marvel hero is Spider-Man by far. My favorite DC hero has to be Batman. Let’s look at my two favorite heroes:

Continue reading →