DALANEL

Daily Good Stuff 52

Day 52. I have some stuff for you, baby. Let’s jump off with some lovely words, shall we?

My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in. Proverbs 3:11-12

I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn’t itch. Gilda Radner

Well isn’t that something? Let’s find out what’s going on in the latest news.
Oh crap! A man is suing Virgin Airlines because they have accused him of using the bathroom…and not flushing. This, and more. Well…look:
Meanwhile, Bevivino complains in the lawsuit that he suffered not only emotional and mental distress, but also that the incident caused him humiliation, fright, shock and loss of reputation. He is seeking $500,000 in damages.
Well I guess that’s better than…I have no jokes/witty responses for this one.
Hey did you hear about Applebee’s new app special? 50 appetizers for just $200! Here’s what’s included:

Daily Good Stuff 51

So the post earlier probably got you a little excited about things in this blog. Even during these weekly segments, the Daily Good Stuff lives! I won’t lie, I’m not sure if I can truly handle it. A lot of the days, I’m preparing the post the night before. I have to stop doing that because if something happens, I would miss a day. So, I’ll have to make sure I put some on scheduled so that number one, I don’t have to stress about each night being in front of the computer after a long day. And, number two, if something happens to the computer or me lime getting sick (which I rarely am) at least the site will still be cooking.

That’s just some background in how I keep up this posting. But, let’s get things off and running on this Friday with a joke:

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.

“But, officer,” the man began, “I can explain”

“Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.”

“But, officer, I just wanted to say”

“And I said to keep quiet! You’re going to jail!”

A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, “Lucky for you that the chief’s at his daughter’s wedding. He’ll be in a good mood when he gets back.”

“Don’t count on it,” answered the fellow in the cell. “I’m the groom.”

Of course he is. Shake my head well here’s your images:

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Daily Good Stuff 50: GIFs Added

Yup, I keep expanding this thing. Now we have GIF images to look forward to. So why don’t we start it off with one. In this lesson, we remember that no means no. There are so many sex/rape jokes I could use but then you would be offended so I’ll chill. But here we go:

funny-gif-bunny-chasing-cat

Alright, and now for the rest of the stuff. Here’s a joke:

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Daily Good Stuff 49: Funny Comics

So here we are. Day 49. Wednesday. You know this. And yesterday we saw a bunch of comedians. This time, some cool comics. First one is what happens when you don’t quite read correctly:

lebanese_FUNNY_COMIC-s555x409-15606-580

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Daily Good Stuff 48: 5 Comedians

I’ve been at this for 48 days? Isn’t that something? Today we’re doing 5 of my favorite comedians. In no particular order of rank, here’s the first, Wanda Sykes:

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Daily Good Stuff 47

Monday, huh? Yeah I’m not feeling it either. But, we gotta keep pushing and pressing. So how about a joke to get things flowing:

A fire fighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little girl next door in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off of the side and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.
The girl is wearing a firefighter’s helmet and has the wagon tied to a dog and a cat. The fire fighter walks over to take a closer look. “That sure is a nice fire truck,” the fire fighter says, with admiration.

“Thanks,” the little girl says. The fire fighter looks a little closer and notices the girl has tied the wagon to the dog’s collar and to the cat’s testicles.

“Little partner,” the fire fighter says, “I don’t want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat’s collar, I think you could go faster.” The little girl says, “You’re probably right, but then I wouldn’t have a siren.

Better the cat’s balls than mine. And here’s an image we can relate to:

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