DALANEL

Weekly Funnies 25

We’re at week 25, although it’s not quite 25 weeks in a row.

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I have posted this before. Still funny.

There was this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, “If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I’ll quit!”  Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had “fallen”.

This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age. About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the Mayor of the town and seemed very concerned.

The priest said, “You have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen.”

The Mayor started to laugh, realizing that no-one had told the new priest about the code word.

Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said, “I don’t know what you’re laughing about. Your wife fell three times this week.”

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Daily Good Stuff 223: Get Dirty 2

If you have a dirty mind, you may love this post. If not, turn back now.

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, “If I’m going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.” She removes all her clothing and asks, “Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?” A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, “Here, iron this!”.

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Daily Good News 2

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If you see someone without a helmet, it doesn’t mean they don’t have a helmet. Introducing “Invisible Bike Helmets” which are just mini helmets. The catch? They act as air bags. There’s a video.

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Top 10 Quotes From My Book

Earlier, I talked about my favorite chapters from my book. Today, in yet another self centered post, I’ll talk about some of my favorite things I’ve said. It’s not ranked by favorite. Just ten passages I really liked from my book. Ya ready? Let’s gooooooo!

10. Who should we be?

There’s that common saying: You can do anything if you put your mind to it. I don’t
really buy into that. I never did. I always looked at it this way: You can do
anything that God calls you to do. You can be anybody God calls you to be. It’s
not about what we want to do or be, it’s about what God has planted us to do.

9. Talking to God

But let’s review the problem that we have when praying. We go to God, ask for something, and then walk away saying “Amen”. What’s wrong with that? Recognize that prayer is a special word for talking. We’re talking to God. When we talk to our friends, we wait for the reply. But with God, it’s “I want this and that, Amen” then walk away. The thing that cracks me up is we get offended when we don’t hear a response. But God tried to say “yes” “no” “maybe” “later”, while we walk away.

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Weekly News 14

Most of the news this past week were more on the good side. And that’s weird. Time to start looking for more sources.

A hotel helped a woman recover a valuable ring that her late grandmother gave to her. Yay.

A student who struggles with stammering made a nice speech thanks to a special “Hollywood” remedy. His stammering was so bad, that just by him being able to make a speech actually brought people to tears, including folks who bullied him. The link has a video of it all unfolding.

Beyoncé and her fine self was doing a concert in Australia. With a push from Hope for Children, which is a charity program, this 11 year old blind girl, with some hearing and muscle problems, got to sing a song with Beyoncé during the concert.

Daily Good Stuff 222

Ah, Saturday. The end of the week. And, for the fifth day in a row, DALANEL set a new viewing record. In fact, these past five days alone had more views than my best month in July 2013. November, if it keeps this pace, will absolutely destroy my viewing graph. If you use WordPress, you know what I mean. All of these little columns and then all of a sudden, there’s this huge column.

Anyway, let’s get through the post.

For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for him. Philippians 1:29
The true Indian sets no price upon either his property or his labor.  His generosity is limited only by his strength and ability.  He regards it as an honor to be selected for difficult or dangerous service and would think it shameful to ask for any reward, saying rather:  Let the person I serve express his thanks according to his own bringing up and his sense of honor. Ohiyesa of the Santee Sioux (Charles Alexander Eastman)
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Now that’s gaming!