DALANEL

Dante’s Opinion: How can I forgive my abusive ex boyfriend?

Yes, our question is from “There’s No Stopping Me” and it goes a little something like this:

How can I forgive my abusive ex boyfriend? Do I need to say it to his face or can I just say it in my heart?

I’m not sure if I want to get back with him ever again but what I do want to do after three years of being mad and angry all the time is that I want to release the negative emotional bondage he has on me and that is why I want to forgive him. Now, I put a restraining order against him when we first separated and he even went to jail and served one year for an assault he did against me. The restraining order should be expired by now as it was only active for 1 year. I have no way of contacting him only through facebook. But my question is, to forgive someone for doing something bad to you do you have to tell them you forgive them? Or can you just do it from your own heart and mind? I’ve tried to forgive him on my own but I still feel that emotional bondage he has on me. I don’t know how to get rid of it. I don’t know what else to try. It’s been three years and I’m tired of feeling angry. I’m tired of him having power over me and my emotions all the time. I’m tired of going out in public afraid that I will bump into him. I just want to feel free again. I want to forigve him for my own well-being. I’m thinking of contacting him and telling him how I feel. Not necesarly get back with him, BUT to tell him that I forgive him and even apologizing for putting him in jail. That I was just very angry at the time and I felt like he deserved it. But that now im ready to move on and that I dont want to be angry anymore. And that’s why I forgive him and wish him well. I don’t know if he will get angry if I message him through facebook, im very scared of his reaction like call me a stalker or even think that just because Im messaging him then it means I want him back. I don’t want him to think that about me. I just want to release this emotional power he has over me .

There’s a lot going on here but not complicated. It seems this person is willing and ready to forgive so we can skip over the importance of forgiving. We’re at the how. To me, I don’t think you have to tell someone face to face that you forgive them. Of course, I also think part of it is preference. If you feel like a confrontation will help you, then meet with that person. In this case, since he abused you, maybe bring a friend if you’re scared.

Now, with all other things failing, there is God. Okay, so God will bring you comfort. You don’t have to be scared of somebody. It’s a shame because this guy is probably not even thinking about you. They say it often how we can be mad at someone and the person is not even aware. But yeah, the idea of a somebody holding you hostage emotionally is something God can take care of.

So, pray to God, ask Him to rid you of these emotions.

Ultimately, either way works. Like I said, I think it’s preference. I can forgive someone without confrontation. Some people feel better to just tell the person how they feel. I don’t know the personality of the person who wrote this, but, by the writing here, this person probably needs the confrontation but, as it was said, does not want to seem like you’re trying to get back together or establish a relationship. In the end, do what is comfortable. If a Facebook message is your ideal way, then do it. This is for you. You need peace. You need closure. In this moment, it’s okay to be selfish.

That’s just my opinion!

-DALANEL

Daily Good Stuff 199

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6
Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We  are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek. Barack Obama
badkitty

Daily Good Stuff 198

Sister is probably the most competitive relationship within the family, but once the sisters are grown, it becomes the strongest relationship. Margaret Mead

The LORD is my light and my salvation — whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life — of whom shall I be afraid? Psalm 27:1

Weekly Funnies 20

So it’s been 20 weeks, huh? Doesn’t seem that long. Hm? Oh you just want the funnies? Let me be quiet then. Have fun!

A man walks into a store to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter. “How much is that Barbie in the window?”, he asks the shop assistant.

In a manner she responds, “Which Barbie? We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $395.00. ”

The guy asks, “Why is Divorced Barbie different from all the others ?

“That’s obvious,” the assistant states, “Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s house, Ken’s car, Ken’s boat, Ken’s furniture… ”

___ AND HAPPINESS cyanide-and-happiness-head – FU

A Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face. “Say Mom, why is my bigger brother named Mighty Storm”?

“Because he was conceived during a mighty storm”, she said.

Then he asked  “Why is my sister named Cornflower”?

“Well your father and I were in a cornfield when we made her”, she replied.  He then asked “And why is my other sister called Moonchild”?

“We were watching the moon-landing when she was conceived”, the mother replies.

The mother paused and said to her son… “Tell me, Torn Rubber, why are you so curious”

iLOL'd - 10_12_2013 10_06_19 AM

 

As a mother passed her daughter’s closed bedroom door,she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout  with a vibrator. Shocked, she asked, “What in the world are you doing?”

The daughter replied, “Mom, I’m thirty-five years old,unmarried,and this thing is about as close as I’ll ever get to a husband.Please, go away and leave me alone.”

The next day, the girl’s father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door. Upon entering the room,he observed his daughter making passionate love to her vibrator. To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter said, “Dad, I’m thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I’ll ever get to a husband.! Please, go away and leave me alone.”

A couple days later, the wife came home from a shopping trip, placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the family room. She entered that area and observed her husband sitting on the couch, staring at the TV. The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy.

The wife asked, “What the heck are you doing?”

The husband replied, “I’m watching the ball game with my son-in-law.”

-DALANEL

God and the Choose Your Own Adventure Book

This is a post from my now closed blog, Christian Interpretations:

I like to think that sometimes our lives are like those “choose your own adventure” type books. If you don’t know what that type of book is, let me explain. In these books, you’re reading a story. So, in that sense, it’s like any other book. But, at the end of quite a few pages, the book asks you what you want the character to do. Most of the time, the character is you. Anyway, the book will ask you what you want to do and then it will tell you what page to turn to to continue the story.

An example would be, you are traveling a great distance to save the Princess of the kingdom that you are a part of. It’s a noble quest or whatever. Time is a factor. You reach a cave. You realize on your map that going in the cave would be a lot quicker but is more dangerous. You could also go around the cave but that would take 5 extra hours; hours you may not have. And then the book will weigh pros and cons of each path and then let you decide.

And I think, for the most part, that’s how our lives are. God is the author of our life. He has the best path for us to take in the book. But, in the end, we must decide for ourselves if we will go into the cave or around. God helps us along the way. If we know his voice, we’ll be able to make the right decisions. And understand that God may want some people to go in the cave and He’ll tell others to go around. It matters by His will and sometimes by what He feels we are capable of.

And so we don’t really want to say that God allowed certain (good and bad) things in our life to happen. All God did was write the book in accordance to the laws of nature. We then must turn the page of our destiny. In the end, we thank God and give him the praise he is due.

-DALANEL

Weekly News 9

Today’s good news is really awesome. Police in Canada are giving out “positive tickets“. Yeah, geared towards teens and kids, these tickets are really coupons for pizza and ice cream just for following the law. I really like this idea. Where was this when I was a kid? Heck, I’ll take a coupon now!

Remember 9/11? That changed everything we knew about airport security. Only, a 9 year old boy was able to get through to sneak onto a flight. Yeah. Nobody knows why he did it yet. Also, while on his flight, flight attendants were eyeing him and when they landed, they took him in. They won’t say why he caught their eye. Oh, by the way, the flight was from Minneapolis to Las Vegas. Yeah.

Being a furloughed employee during this government shutdown is not fun. However, some are trying to ease the pain. Restaurants in D.C are offering discounts to furloughed workers. Just present your I.D. and you’re in. I’m sure D.C. isn’t the only place this is happening, right?
Now, this weird news is too much for me to explain. Look:
The males of several species of insect-eating marsupials have a very  unusual life history. They mature quickly, often in less than a year.  Then, during a short and frenzied breeding season, they mate repeatedly —for up to 14 hours in some cases — until their immune systems crash and  their bodies start to fall apart. Then they die.
At first, I was like, wtf? Then, after reading the entire article, I was like, WTF!?

A woman’s faith in humanity is restored after a couple of teens returned her son’s lost wallet.

This has been around for 1,000 years already but we just wrapped up another cricket fight. It’s like dog fights or cock fights but with the little guys.

-DALANEL