DALANEL

Weekly Funnies 17: Some favorites

It’s that time again! Time for some funnies. We’ll be looking at a few of my favorite jokes and pictures. I say, it’s still funny the second time around.

 

 

Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, “You see that Indian?”

“Yeah,” says the other cowboy.

“Look,” says the first one, “he’s listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction.”

Just then the Indian looks up. “Covered wagon,” he says, “about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon.”

“Incredible!” says the cowboy to his friend. “This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what color they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing!”

The Indian looks up and says, “Ran over me about a half hour ago.”

Sounds painful!

funny-gifs-transforming-kid

 

Transformers: Children in disguise.

Continue reading →

Weekly News 6

Another round of good, weird, and funny news to check out! Are you ready? Let’s do this thing.

This isn’t weird news…even if it does sound weird. No, we’ll say this is good news. For two years now, this guy, on his birthday, stands out in the street giving out money. Yup. Giving it away. This year was $750.

Here’s some creepy news. If you hate clowns, turn back now. Apparently, there’s a clown stalking a town. Yes, a town. Where? Northampton, England is where. Trust me, I’m not clowning around.

In Good News, we have a man who decided to show love to those less fortunate. He quit his six figure salary job to do charity work.

Mark Wahlberg (yes, that Mark Wahlberg) has finally become a high school graduate at age 42. He wants kids to finish too:
His Mark Wahlberg Youth Foundation has partnered with other organizations to provide resources to young people who commit to finishing high school.
Good for him.

Daily Good Stuff 181

TGIF, y’all! I’ve been busy this week getting myself ready for the 76ers’ season. You’ll see a couple of posts about my thoughts on the season soon. For now, let’s finish the post.

Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out  and look for a successful personality and duplicate it. Bruce Lee

For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10
funny_demotivational_posters_640_05
Cool.

Daily Good Stuff 180

It’s Thursday and I think it’s safe to say that I’ve had a decent week. It could’ve gone better but whatever. Let’s get down to another round of good stuff!

A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination  and hard work. Colin Powell

“Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him.” John 14:21
thCAZZ3OB3
Ain’t that the truth? Well, it is for my life. Shoot, it’s 1 am as I write this.
One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will ask a question to the class and anyone who answers correctly doesn’t have to go to school the following Monday.

On the first Friday, the teacher asks, “How many grains of sand are in the beach?” Needless to say, no one could answer.

The following Friday, the teacher asks the class, “How many stars are in the sky?” and again no one could answer. Frustrated, little Johnny decides that the next Friday, he would somehow answer the question and get a 3 day weekend.

So Thursday night, Johnny takes two ping-pong balls and paints them black. The next day, he brings them to school in a paper bag. At the end of the day, just when the teacher says, “Here’s this week’s question,” Johnny empties the bag to the floor sending the ping-pong balls rolling to the front of the room. Because they are young kids who find any disruption of class amusing, the entire class starts laughing.

The teacher says, ” Okay, who’s the comedian with the black balls?”

Immediately, little Johnny stands up and says, “Bill Cosby, see ya on Tuesday!”

Nice! A little forced, but still a good joke.
Mark Wahlberg (yes, that Mark Wahlberg) has finally become a high school graduate at age 42. He wants kids to finish too:
His Mark Wahlberg Youth Foundation has partnered with other organizations to provide resources to young people who commit to finishing high school.
Good for him.
So a few police officers cut in line to buy Grand Theft Auto. Only problem was, they weren’t cops. Wait, the folks were outside waiting for the store to open. These guys show up, get inside before opening, and run off with copies of the game. Yeesh. And that’s not even it. Check out the rest of the story.

Daily Good Stuff 179

Born on a Wednesday, I guess I have a special connection with this day. So, are you ready to get this party started? Then let’s do it!

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy. Norman Vincent Peale

It is to a man’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel. Proverbs 20:3
Images_91019System_Random_jpg_jpg
That’s me and my sisters. Eventually this meme will catch on. Right?
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny, a child in the Kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs.Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and asked, “Johnny, what is the matter?”

Little Johnny groaned and responded , “I have a pain in my side. I think I’m going to have a wife.”

Have a fantastic day!
-DALANEL

The DALANEL Facebook Network

As you know, I am a page on Facebook. DanteWrites is the name. I recently mentioned that one of my pages “Nothing But Jokes” would become active again. In all, I have five pages that I manage, as well as another one that I am part of, although the page isn’t mine. I’m wondering if you heard of any of them:

  • DanteWrites
  • Nothing But Jokes
  • I Am A Great Person of God
  • I Think Dante Is Awesome
  • 3 Nelson Kids

Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I have resumed posting at “I Am A Great Person of God”. I have no plans for bringing back to life the other two pages so we’re left with the jokes, me, and people of God. Basically, the result of this blog came from those jokes and person pages. I started out on Facebook and came here.

I guess you can say I’m going back to my roots.

These pages will have an identity. It’ll be called something like this: The DALANEL Facebook Network. Essentially, since they are all under the same wing, and they are related to what I post here at DALANEL, I’d figure I make them all related. The people that like one page will constantly hear about the others. For a full experience, you would like all three pages.

It’s going to happen.

Of course, the likes of each page will be combined to label my Facebook following. And, ultimately, they will be led to this blog. Everywhere I go, I link myself back to this blog. This is the headquarters of my internet presence.

So, make sure you “like” me and my network today!