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Weekly Funnies 31

A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. When applying it in the bathroom they would then press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints.

Before it got out of hand he thought of a way to stop it. He gathered all the girls together that wore lipstick and told them he wanted to meet with them in the ladies room at 2pm. They gathered at 2pm and found the principal and the school custodian waiting for them.

The principal explained that it was becoming a problem for the custodian to clean the mirror every night. He said he felt the ladies did not fully understand just how much of a problem it was and he wanted them to witness just how hard it was to clean.

The custodian then demonstrated. He took a long brush on a handle out of a box. He then dipped the brush in the nearest toilet, moved to the mirror and proceeded to remove the lipstick.

That was the last day the girls pressed their lips on the mirror.

time machine(GOD! this is damn epic! 5 days coma, and thought he travel through time! LOLOLOLOL)

 

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DALANEL Review: Facebook

DALANEL Review is back! Of course, it’s got a place for the blog celebration week.

Today’s review is of Facebook. Ah, yes. Facebook. Some people love it. Others hate it. Quite frankly, I don’t know why you would hate it. It’s only a tool. You hate the people on there. But, whatever.

As you know, I don’t have a personal profile. I converted that into a business page. I can speak on both fronts. I like the idea of Facebook. I like being able to keep up with your friends or companies/celebrities/brands/etc. It’s so easy. If you like something on Facebook, you “like” it. Genius.

Being able to customize my feed to see what I want? Perfect. I’ll admit, shortly before I let go of my profile, I selected to hide the updates of many of my friends. I know. I started using FB for keeping up with pages. Looking at your personal profile, it was a way for people to get to know you. Your interests. Your relationship status. Your bio. Quite frankly, it served as an intro to the person. Of course, FB’s initial idea is that you’re only “friends” with people you actually know. Of course, people don’t do that, and then they try to label FB with a negative zone for strangers scamming you when FB clearly only suggests “people you may know”. K.

FB seems most useful as an address book in most cases for me. However, I did have fun with the games. I thought Farmville was gay so I wasn’t one of those guys that always harassed you with invites. Other than that, the chatting and messaging stuff wasn’t why I was on in the first place.

There are some privacy issues. However, one thing for me is that once it’s on the internet, it’s there forever. I’ve known this for quite some time but, it didn’t hit me until I so called deleted my profile. Facebook let me know time and time again that I would be deleting all of my info if I shifted to being a page. Only thing that would carry over would be that my friends would now like my page. That’s all I remember. So, I went through with it. And, for the first few days, I still was able to actually access my profile. I could click and look around and everything. I was even able to update it. I figured the system needed time to clear my stuff out. Here we are, a year later, and I can STILL get to my old stuff. So, this is a warning for you: If you put some naughty pictures on FB, and then delete them to try to clean up your image, there’s a good chance that it’s not really deleted. Again, it’s sort of common internet knowledge, but something to be aware of.

Would I recommend it to others? Yeah, I would. A lot of people are on FB and I think it’s cool to not only keep up with people you know, but catching up with people from your past, if you care for it. If you’re not much of a people person like me, there’s still plenty of other uses for it whether it’s games or keeping up with brands, companies, TV shows, big names of people, and more.

What about you? You on Facebook? What’s your favorite thing to do on there? Hate Facebook or don’t care for it? Why? Like me on Facebook and/or add Dallas T. on Facebook. Links are on the left side on desktop version

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Good News 59: Teen with down syndrome is hero on the court, woman donates $15k, and football fans unite

Hey, it’s time for another round of good news.

First we have a kid with Down syndrome become a hero on the court.

Grow, who has Down syndrome, had been a manager for the Bensalem boys basketball team for four years. But it’s what he did on senior night on the court that’s garnering all of the attention. Kevin got to play, and when he did, he made magic happen.

What kind of magic, you ask?

Kevin hit four 3-pointers in the last two minutes of the game to help beat Neshaminy 64-40.

Awesome!

Next, a woman donates $15,000 to three waitresses:

Over the weekend, three waitresses at a restaurant in Caledonia, Ill., each received a $5,000 tip from an anonymous woman — and two of the waitresses weren’t even serving her table.

If you follow the link, it’ll tell ya what they plan to do with the money.

Lastly, we have a fan of football. A 49ers fan was in the championship parade for the Seattle Seahawks. But there’s more to this story:

Tate reached out to the Seattle TV station following the parade, wanting to compliment the fellow Niner lover courageous enough to sport the enemy colors nehind enemy lines. She says she first merely hoped to give the teen “front-row seats in the new stadium on the 50-yard line.”

After connecting with the 15-year-old fan via social media and finding out he was living in shelters as a ward of the state, she started a gofundme account to gather donations for a trip to San Francisco.

Expecting just 49er fans to help, Tate says she has been touched by the flood of offers of help for the youngster via shelter, counseling and other assistance — especially from Seahawks fans.

It’s great to see sports fans come together beyond the game.

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Good Stuff 238

Ah yes, as I said, we’re bringing back what is far and wide the most successful featured post in DALANEL history: Daily Good Stuff. I do hope you enjoy. And, if you don’t know, I usually post a scripture, quote, joke, video, image, fact, weird/funny news, good/positive news, and holiday.

So, let’s get this classic post going.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged.” Matthew 7:1

Take a look a this:

Images_Foul Bachelor FrogSystem_Random_jpg_jpg

 

I made that myself because I’m awesome like that. You can choose whether it’s true or not.

It’s video time!

Okay but that Justin Bieber one was sad. Want a joke? Here’s something:

A photographer from a well know national magazine was assigned to cover the fires at Yellowstone National Park. The magazine wanted to show some of the heroic work of the fire fighters as they battled the blaze.

When the photographer arrived, he realized that the smoke was so thick that it would seriously impede or make it impossible for him to photograph anything from ground level. He requested permission to rent a plane and take photos from the air. His request was approved and arrangements were made. He was told to report to a nearby airport where a plane would be waiting for him.

He arrived at the airport and saw a plane warming up near the gate. He jumped in with his bag and shouted, “Let’s go!” The pilot swung the little plane into the wind, and within minutes they were in the air.

The photographer said, “Fly over the park and make two or three low passes so I can take some pictures.”

“Why?” asked the pilot. “Because I am a photographer,” he responded, “and photographers take photographs.”

The pilot was silent for a moment; finally he stammered, “You mean you’re not the flight instructor?”

You probably heard of “Dumb Starbucks” right? It’s a coffee shop basically spoofing Starbucks.

Alright, we’ll wrap it up here. Sometimes I wonder if I should bring this series back. Maybe.

-DALANEL

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Wednesday Word: Work with what you got

You know what time it is! Time for a word. If you’re new here, Wednesday Word is a feature where I search for a short sermon, usually less than 10 minutes but no more than 20, and post it here. I then add some commentary on the message.

Let’s take a look at the video:

I’m not gonna lie…I find this guy to be a little corny. However, the message is clear. And, this isn’t the first time I’ve posted a video of his. It shouldn’t matter THAT much how a message is delivered; as long as the message is good.

God wants us to help others. We’re called to serve. Sometimes though, we feel like we’re not doing enough. But, as Blake said, God gives us certain abilities and gifts to help on certain levels. And there are some things we simply can’t do if only because it’s beyond our “skill level”.

And so, as the title of the sermon states, we need to work with what we got. That’s all we can do. We work with what we got, while always trying to acquire more talents and such.

-DALANEL

Dante’s Opinion: Am I a jerk, bully or just jealous?

It’s the last time we’ll see Dante’s Opinion on Tuesday. Let us begin with this question from Hello:

Am I a jerk, bully or just jealous? I’ve been acting like a real dick this past month. So I have been skating for almost 10 years so I am naturally good at it. Everytime I see a guys bring their girls to the skatepark I always show off and make them feel inferior to me in front of their girl.it gets to the point where they can take it no more and they smoothly leave. in my head i’m like “yeah *****, whats up now?” I also like doing it when girls come watch people skate. I pretend I suck at skating for a couple minutes so the other guys get a little confidence boost and BAM hit em with a shock ‘n awe. I start busting out some gnarly tricks and they get mad.

I think I do this out of anger and jealousy because I’m an ugly guy. I know this because I never had a girlfriend, in High School girls never hugged me, but hugged my friends 😦 and I have always been called ugly for no damn reason I even took 2 years off school after I graduated HS because of how insecure I was. I have always been nice and fair to others.

I guess this is what its like to be a bully. to be one of them.

Alright, I don’t think you’re a bully. You’re probably jealous and so you’re acting like a jerk. Why? Because, like you said, you’re not the first person ladies consider on their “how hot is he” scale or something. I feel you. It’s like you’re lashing out to those people that called you ugly. Just because you’re ugly in their eyes doesn’t mean you’re useless or have no value. And your skating aims to do this. I know why you’re doing this. I feel like the right thing to say is to not do this, but, I would probably do it if I were you too.

Next one is from tomb07:

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