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Daily Good Stuff 106

Hey, hey, hey, what’s goin’ on, bro or sis? Come on in, take a seat. Welcome to Daily Good Stuff. I’m your host, Dante Nelson and even though this is day 106, you might be new here so let me just give you an idea of what Daily Good Stuff is about. For you usual members of DALANEL, you can skip the next paragraph.

Daily Good Stuff is one of my ways of bringing a positive spin on the world, as seen for the blog’s tagline. Everyday, I post a joke, video, images, quote, scripture, good news, and weird/funny news. That’s the goal anyway. Sometimes I’ll make it a themed post like Birthday or Get Well or my most recent theme of Boy Scouts. I gather these things from the internet (although a few stuff is completely original) and bring them here. It’s my alternative to the many negative things you here on TV from FOX, NBC, CNN, and their friends. So thanks for stopping by and I hope you enjoy this post and be sure to check out past posts as well.

So, we got that out of the way. Let’s do it with a joke:

A Sunday school teacher was giving her class the assignment for the next week. “Next Sunday,” she said, “we are going to talk about liars, and in preparation for our lesson I want you all to read the Seventeenth Chapter of Mark.” The following week, at the beginning of the class meeting, the teacher said, “Now then, all of you who have prepared for the lesson by reading the Seventeenth Chapter of Mark, please step to the front of the room.” About half the class rose and came forward.

“The rest of you may leave,” said the teacher, “these students are the ones I want to talk to. There is no Seventeenth Chapter in the Book of Mark.”

Huh, how about that? And now these images:

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Daily Good Stuff 105

Good day everyone. The middle of the week is here so hang in there. You got this far. Okay well if you haven’t already, be sure to check out the poll to vote for your favorite feature of Daily Good Stuff. There will be a poll coming soon asking what you would want as a new feature. Let’s get to the joke though, shall we?

A rich American tourist was holidaying in Rome, and was intent on seeing the Pope. There he stood, in a big long line with a rather expensive suit on, hoping the Pope would notice how smart he was and perhaps talk a few words with him. As the Pope made his way slowly down the line, he walked right past the American, hardly even noticing him. The Pope then stopped next to a low-life sot, leaned over and whispered something in the sot’s ear, and made his way on again.

This really angered the American. After speaking with the drunkard, the American agreed to pay $1000 dollars to exchange clothing, in the hope that the Pope would speak to him the next day. The next morning the American stood in the line, waiting to see the Pope and hopefully exchange a few words. The Pope was making his way slowly up to the American. When he finally reached him, he leaned over to the American and spoke softly into his ear..

“I thought I told you yesterday to get the heck out of here.”

Mhm, so I guess if he doesn’t talk to you, he likes you…? And a videoooooo:

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Daily Good Stuff 104: Boy Scouts

Today’s themed post is on Boy Scouts. I was a Boy scout myself. Served as Patrol leader for three, 6 month terms in a row as well as quartermaster AND Librarian at the same time. So I was a busy bee. Plus, I was the unofficial troop clown. I enjoyed my time there and it was probably the highlight of my teen years. I was in scouting since Tiger Cub so it’s been a long time. Pack 86 and then troop 86, baby! So, let’s get started!

Top Ten Signs You’re in a Bad Boy Scout Troop

10.You get merit badge for picking the trifecta at Aqueduct

9.You help old ladies across I-95

8.First rule in handbook: “Blame the kid who can’t speak English”

7.You’re part of a very special troop called the Gambino family

6.To become an Eagle Scout, you have to catch and eat a Bald Eagle

5.Since he can’t get time off, troop leader holds meetings in his Century 21 office

4.You get busted for selling knot-tying secrets to Russian Boy Scouts

3.Scout master hands out his favorite campfire treat — Marlboro Lights

2.Troop motto: “Be prepared…to lie on the witness stand”

1.Every year you have to put on a skirt and go door-to-door selling cookies

And now a video:

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Daily Good Stuff 103

Monday is here, my friends and of course that means another day f Daily Good Stuff. Next Monday is the first day of July and I’ve got some stuff planned to party that month. Alright so let’s get this last week of June started:

A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the cause of the daughter’s swollen abdomen. It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say, “Gimme a break, lady! Your daughter is pregnant!” The mother turn red with fury, and she argued with the doctor that her daughter was a good girl, and would never compromise her reputation by having sex with a boy.

The doctor faced the window and silently watched the horizon. The mother became enraged and screamed, “Quit looking out the window! Aren’t you paying attention to me?” “Yes, of course I am paying attention, ma’am. It’s just that the last time this happened, a star appeared in the east, and three wise men came. I was hoping they’d show up again, and help me figure out who got your daughter pregnant!”

And now, the video:

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Daily Good Stuff 102

Oh man I’m still feeling piss poor from yesterday. But I know why, now. It’s Sunday! A new week. New, challenges to face and new blessings to receive. Let’s get to the joke:

It had been raining for days and days, and a terrible flood had come over the land. The waters rose so high that one man was forced to climb onto the roof of his house.

As the waters rose higher and higher, a man in a rowboat appeared, and told him to get in. “No,” replied the man on the roof. “I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me.” So the man in the rowboat went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him. The waters rose higher and higher, and suddenly a speedboat appeared. “Climb in!” shouted a man in the boat. “No,” replied the man on the roof. “I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me.” So the man in the speedboat went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.

The waters continued to rise. A helicopter appeared and over the loudspeaker, the pilot announced he would lower a rope to the man on the roof. “No,” replied the man on the roof. “I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me.” So the helicopter went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him. The waters rose higher and higher, and eventually they rose so high that the man on the roof was washed away, and alas, the poor man drowned.

Upon arriving in heaven, the man marched straight over to God. “Heavenly Father,” he said, “I had faith in you, I prayed to you to save me, and yet you did nothing. Why?” God gave him a puzzled look, and replied “I sent you two boats and a helicopter, what more did you expect?”

Ha! We’ve heard this one before, haven’t we? And now a video:

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Daily Good Stuff 101

We made it to the end of the week. This is one of those days that I’m feeling really down. Like, just really down emotionally. So this is for me as much as for you. I mean, each day I get connected to the DGS but especially today. So, let’s do a joke, shall we? Well, before we do that, let’s make sure you checked out day 100 which showed my favorite five of each feature of DGS. Also, take a look at the poll and vote for your favorite features. And now, the joke:

Her husband had been slipping in and out for a coma for several months yet she stayed by his bedside every single day.

When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business fell, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side.”

She just smiled and held his hand. He then continued, saying “When I think about it now, I think you bring me bad luck.”

Classic joke too. And now the video:

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