funny jokes

Daily Good Stuff 275: A bunch of funny jokes

I haven’t posted jokes in a while. So…um…here ya go.

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. ‘Careful,’ he said, ‘CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They’re going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don’t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! Salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!’ The wife stared at him. ‘What in the world is wrong with you?You think I don’t know how to fry a couple of eggs?’ The husband calmly replied, ‘I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I’m driving.’

That’s messed up, but I’ll bet she’ll be quiet from now on.

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Daily Good Stuff 239

Well what about that? Daily Good Stuff returns. We’re picking up where we last left off here at DALANEL.

This feature helped bring DALANEL to a high following status and really put me on the map. It’s been over a year since I last posted on a consistent basis, but it continues to get the majority of blog views on a daily basis.

So, for this week, we’ll look at DGS, the first daily post type of DALANEL. Most of the featured posts that followed were various forms of this post. When I started my “funny” blog, I took these elements there as well.

Thing was, this blog used to be known for humor as well as what you see now. I essentially split those up so that humor had its own spot while positive had DALANEL.

Alright, I bet you’re tired of the talk. Before we start, let me tell you what DGS posts looked like in its prime. We had a quote, scripture, video, image (usually funny), joke, funny and/or weird news, positive news, and a holiday. I’ll probably post all but the holiday. Are you ready for a blast from my past?

Quote:

While we are postponing, life speeds by. Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Scripture:

Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always. Psalm 105:4

Image:

funny-memes-funny-messages-funny-images-funny-people-funny-pictures-Favim.com-708411

That’s happened to me before!

How about a video? I think a video is good.

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Monday Motivation: Share a Joke

It’s okay to laugh, ya know.

I want you to share a joke today with a classmate…coworker…friend…neighbor on the train…somebody.

Here’s mine:

There was a Minister whose wife was expecting a baby. The Minister went to the congregation and asked for a raise. After much consideration and discussion, they passed a rule that when the Minister’s family expanded, so would his pay check.

After five or six children, this started to get expensive. The congregation decided to hold a meeting again to discuss the Minister’s pay situation. You can imagine there was much yelling and bickering. Finally, the Minister got up and spoke to the crowd, “Having children is an act of God!”

In the back of the room, a little old man with a full beard stood up, and in his frail voice said… “Snow and Rain are also ‘acts of God’, but when we get too much, we wear rubbers!”

Like this one? I GUESS you can share it. I encourage you to search for one on your own though. Search on this blog or my blog designated to hold jokes.

Dante Writes