God

Weekly Funnies 25

We’re at week 25, although it’s not quite 25 weeks in a row.

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I have posted this before. Still funny.

There was this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, “If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I’ll quit!”  Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had “fallen”.

This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age. About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the Mayor of the town and seemed very concerned.

The priest said, “You have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen.”

The Mayor started to laugh, realizing that no-one had told the new priest about the code word.

Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said, “I don’t know what you’re laughing about. Your wife fell three times this week.”

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Daily Good News 2

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If you see someone without a helmet, it doesn’t mean they don’t have a helmet. Introducing “Invisible Bike Helmets” which are just mini helmets. The catch? They act as air bags. There’s a video.

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Top 10 Quotes From My Book

Earlier, I talked about my favorite chapters from my book. Today, in yet another self centered post, I’ll talk about some of my favorite things I’ve said. It’s not ranked by favorite. Just ten passages I really liked from my book. Ya ready? Let’s gooooooo!

10. Who should we be?

There’s that common saying: You can do anything if you put your mind to it. I don’t
really buy into that. I never did. I always looked at it this way: You can do
anything that God calls you to do. You can be anybody God calls you to be. It’s
not about what we want to do or be, it’s about what God has planted us to do.

9. Talking to God

But let’s review the problem that we have when praying. We go to God, ask for something, and then walk away saying “Amen”. What’s wrong with that? Recognize that prayer is a special word for talking. We’re talking to God. When we talk to our friends, we wait for the reply. But with God, it’s “I want this and that, Amen” then walk away. The thing that cracks me up is we get offended when we don’t hear a response. But God tried to say “yes” “no” “maybe” “later”, while we walk away.

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Wednesday Word: Passion Changes Everything

Welcome to the first post of the long overdue weekly segment: Wednesday Word. In case you don’t know, Wednesday Word will normally go a little something like this: A short sermon, typically less than 10 minutes, could be longer but rarely over 30 minutes, and then some Dante commentary. As I’ve said before, I’m no pastor or something. You don’t have to be to know the Word of God. Here’s today’s video:

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Weekly Funnies 24

Another round up of some funny stuff on the web. Are you ready? I can’t hear you! No, really, I can’t. Sorry.

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny, a child in the Kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs.

Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and asked, “Johnny, what is the matter?”

Little Johnny groaned and responded , “I have a pain in my side. I think I’m going to have a wife.”

My laptop or WordPress is struggling with photos today so darn it darn it darn it.

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God and the Choose Your Own Adventure Book

This is a post from my now closed blog, Christian Interpretations:

I like to think that sometimes our lives are like those “choose your own adventure” type books. If you don’t know what that type of book is, let me explain. In these books, you’re reading a story. So, in that sense, it’s like any other book. But, at the end of quite a few pages, the book asks you what you want the character to do. Most of the time, the character is you. Anyway, the book will ask you what you want to do and then it will tell you what page to turn to to continue the story.

An example would be, you are traveling a great distance to save the Princess of the kingdom that you are a part of. It’s a noble quest or whatever. Time is a factor. You reach a cave. You realize on your map that going in the cave would be a lot quicker but is more dangerous. You could also go around the cave but that would take 5 extra hours; hours you may not have. And then the book will weigh pros and cons of each path and then let you decide.

And I think, for the most part, that’s how our lives are. God is the author of our life. He has the best path for us to take in the book. But, in the end, we must decide for ourselves if we will go into the cave or around. God helps us along the way. If we know his voice, we’ll be able to make the right decisions. And understand that God may want some people to go in the cave and He’ll tell others to go around. It matters by His will and sometimes by what He feels we are capable of.

And so we don’t really want to say that God allowed certain (good and bad) things in our life to happen. All God did was write the book in accordance to the laws of nature. We then must turn the page of our destiny. In the end, we thank God and give him the praise he is due.

-DALANEL