inspirational quotes

Daily Good Stuff 82

Look tomorrow is my sister’s birthday so expect a celebration tomorrow. My birthday is next month and I’m planning some big stuff. I know how to have a cyber party, baby! But let’s get on with today shall we?

A man was invited for dinner at a friend’s house. Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her “My Love”, “Darling”, “Sweetheart”, etc., etc. His friend looked at him and said, “That’s really nice after all of these years you’ve been married to keep saying those little pet names.” The host said, “Well, honestly, I’ve forgotten her name.”

And now for a special video, bro:

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Daily Good Stuff 81

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! It’s another week of good stuff and I gotta say, this number is special for me. It’s all in the root. Square root, that is. Check it: Square root of 81 is 9. Square root of 9 is 3. I have 3 nipples. I know. Okay so let’s get on with the show:

A resident in a posh hotel breakfast room called over the head waiter one morning and read from the menu. “I’d like one under-cooked egg so that it’s runny, and one over-cooked egg so that it’s tough and hard to eat. I’d also like grilled bacon which is a bit on the cold side, burnt toast, butter straight from the freezer so that it’s impossible to spread, and a pot of very weak, lukewarm coffee.” “That’s a complicated order sir,” said the bewildered waiter. “It might be quite difficult.” The guest replied sarcastically, “It can’t be that difficult because that’s exactly what you brought me yesterday!”

Oh I see, he rather just not have a good meal instead of expecting one and being disappointed. Got it. Check out this video:

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Daily Good Stuff 79

Alright it’s Friday! Where I am it’s basically a heat wave going on still from Wednesday and not expected to end until at least Monday. That’s cool…hot…fine with me. Let’s do our thing with a joke:

TOP TEN SIGNS YOUR SPOUSE IS HAVING A CYBER AFFAIR…

10. Lately, she sits at the computer naked.

9. After signing off, he always has a cigarette.

8. The giant rubber inflatable disk drive.

7. In the morning, the computer screen is all fogged up.

6. He’s gotten amazingly good at typing with one hand.

5. Every day, Bill Gates sends 10 million dollars worth of flowers.

4. The jam in the laser printer is a pair of underwear.

3. During sex she screams “A COLON BACKSLASH ENTER INSERT!!!!”

2. The fax file is filled with pictures of some guy’s ass.

1. Lipstick on the mouse.

Do you have a trampoline? Have you fallen off of it before? Well, check this video out:

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Daily Good Stuff 78

Well it’s another day, my friends. Earlier, I posted my latest episode of my breaking down the book series. Take a look if you haven’t already. I can’t even believe I made it this far on a daily basis but I’m going to have to get help very soon because this stuff can take its toll. But we’ll see. I enjoy it so it’s not like I feel like I HAVE to do it. It’s a joy for me. Let’s get to the joke.

An old man went to the social security office to sign up.
He had stood in the line for a very long time until it was finally his turn. The lady behind the counter ask him for identification. He went to get his wallet out of his back pocket and realized he had left it at home. The lady told him that was alright he could just show her his chest hairs and if they were grey she knew he was old enough for social security.

After everything was done there he went home and told his wife how his day went. He told her that he had forgotten his wallet at home and the lady at the social security office just ask him to pull down the front of his shirt and she could tell he was old enough.

After listening to his story his wife told him if he had dropped his pants he probably could have gotten disability too.

Aw man I don’t know if I want to live to see that. Well you already know from an older post I really don’t. As you saw on Tuesday, I promised people falling for the rest of the week with that exception for day 76. So here’s the video:

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Daily Good Stuff 77

Let’s do what we always do and get the joke:

A salesman is driving toward home in northern Ontario when he sees an Indian thumbing for a ride on the side of the road. As the trip had been long and quiet, he stops the car and the Indian gets in. After a bit of small talk, the Indian notices a brown bag on the front seat. “What’s in bag?”, the Indian asks the driver.

The driver says, “It’s a bottle of wine. I got it for my wife.”

The Indian is silent for a moment then says, “Good trade.”

Oh man that’s tough. Okay, like I promised, here’s a video of people falling. This is gonna be epic!

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Daily Good Stuff 75

So here we are; Monday. Memorial Day. So I guess you all are gonna spend some time outside. They say this is the beginning of grilling season. No special theme post though so, yeah. Let’s start it off:

A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging.

Dentist: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?

Patient: Why? Docor, it wasn’t all that bad this time.

Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don’t want to miss the four o’clock ball game.

Yeah see as a Sixers fan, I have to be careful I don’t try this to get to a game. This video tries to shed light to why we laugh at people that fall:

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