inspirational quotes

Daily Good Stuff 68

Alright so it’s day 68. I must not be doing or keeping things fresh since viewership has declined mightily. I have to figure out how to spice/shake things up. In the meantime, I shall keep up the current effort until I can figure out what to do next. It’s kinda interesting though because I got 3 new subscribers last week and my blog following is almost at 500 so while the viewing is low, the quality is still good in a sense. I don’t know; I guess I need to do a better job of spreading the word. Here’s a joke to lift the post off.

After being with her all evening, the man couldn’t take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened.

When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, “I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.”

“Thank heavens,” his date replied. “If yours hadn’t, mine would have had to!”

 And a couple of images:

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Daily Good Stuff 67

And so another week begins. Or the weekend ends. Or whatever; I don’t know. Let’s get it on with a joke:

A guy goes to a doctor and says, “Doc, you’ve got to help me. My penis is orange.” Doctor pauses to think and asks the guy to drop his pants so he can check. Damned if the guy’s penis isn’t orange. Doc tells the guy, “This is very strange. Sometimes things like this are caused by a lot of stress in a person’s life.”

Probing as to the causes of possible stress, the doc asks the guy, “How are things going at work?” The guy responds that he was fired about six weeks ago. The doctor tells him that this must be the cause of the stress. Guy responds, “No. The boss was a real asshole, I had to work 20-30 hours of overtime every week and I had no say in anything that was happening. I found a new job a couple of weeks ago where I can set my own hours, I’m getting paid double what I got on the old job and the boss is a really great guy.” So the doc figures this isn’t the reason.

He asks the guy, “How’s your home life?” The guy says, “Well, I got divorced about eight months ago.” The doc figures that this has got to be the reason for all of the guys stress. Guy says, “No. For years, all I listened to was nag, nag, nag. God, am I glad to be rid of that old bitch.” So the doc takes a few minutes to think a little longer.

He inquires, “Do you have any hobbies or a social life?” The guy replies, “No, not really. Most nights I sit home, watch some porno flicks and munch on Cheetos.”

This was a brilliant joke. I hope you got it, and if you didn’t, please ask somebody. Alright so let’s take a look at these images:

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Daily Good Stuff 66

Hello everybody! It’s Saturday and boy am I excited to show you the good stuff I found for you. We’ll start off with a video. I love the guys at Just For Laughs. They do good work.

Alright and here’s a joke:

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Daily Good Stuff 64

It’s Thursday! Earlier, you saw my first episode of my video series. Let the good stuff keep on rollin’! Let’s look at this joke:

Grandpa and grandma were watching the television evangelical show and the preacher said, if the viewers at home wanted to be healed, place one hand on the television set and the other hand on the body part where they wanted to be healed.

Grandma got up and slowly hobbled to the television set, placed her right hand on the set and her left hand on her arthritic shoulder that was causing her to have great pain.

Then Grandpa got up, went to the TV, placed his right hand on the set and his left hand on his crotch.

Grandma scowled at him and said, “I guess you just don’t get it. The purpose of doing this is to heal the sick, not to raise the dead.”

Sorry, fellas. A couple of images:

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Daily Good Stuff 61

So this is Monday. Ugh. You know, sometimes when I’m in a bad mood, just creating these posts puts me in a good mood. These are one of those days so bare with me. Why don’t we get started with a video.

Nice.

Ways To Have Fun in the Workplace

Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.

Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after you boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is of a different gender than you.

Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. “That’s a good point, Sparky.” “No, I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to disagree with you there, Cha-Cha.”

Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you’re doing. For example: “If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom.”

Hi-Lite your shoes. Tell people you haven’t lost them as much since you did this.

While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive liquid. Call everyone Marge.

Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge to get coffee or a printout or whatever, slap yourself randomly the whole way.

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Daily Good Stuff 60: Mother’s Day

Of course this was gonna be a Mother’s Day themed post. What else would it be? So gather your mom’s ’round the computer and if you are old enough to be everybody’s mom, then…uh…gather your kids…?

Why don’t we get it crackin with a couple of images. First, the secret to mom’s success:

images mother's day

 

And our moms told us to brush our teeth. But, how many moms will dance with you while brushing their teeth with you?

1324405589_mom_and_son_teeth_brushing_dance

 

Oops! I probably should’ve mentioned that spit part. But hey, it’s still pretty cool.

Alright, if you aren’t too disgusted to continue, let’s take a look at this quote:

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