Another day, another week. I’m feeling churchy so let’s make it a church theme. Let’s look at a couple of images to get it started. And of course, keep in mind that I won’t be preaching to you on the D-L so don’t worry about that. That’s what my Breaking Down the Book series is for. Anyway:
Aw now who did that!? And I HATE McDonald’s (there goes any chance for sponsorship). But check this guy out:
A lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she needs some cyanide. The pharmacist said, ” Why in the world do you need cyanide? The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he said, ” Lord have mercy, I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband! That’s against the law! They’ll throw both of us in jail and I’ll lose my license.
Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife and handed it to the pharmacist. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “Well now, you didn’t tell me you had a prescription?”
Hello all! Today, some would say it’s Easter. For me, it’s called Resurrection Sunday. The day our Lord and Savior rose from the dead 3 days after death. Now be cool, this isn’t a Bible lesson. I just wanted to say that this is indeed a “good stuff” for me as well as for every one else on this planet. So, the good stuff today will be Easter themed. Let’s get into it with a joke:
A woman driving down the same highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong. “I feel terrible,” he explained, “I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny and killed it. There may not be an Easter because of me. What should I do?”
The woman told the man not to worry. She knew exactly what to do. She went to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead Bunny, and sprayed the entire contents of the can onto the little furry animal. Miraculously the Easter Bunny came to back life, jumped up, picked up the spilled eggs and candy, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped on down the road. 50 yards away the Easter Bunny stopped, turned around, waved and hopped on down the road another 50 yards, turned, waved, hopped another 50 yards and waved again!
Ha! Gotta love it. And what about a nice quote?
The month of March is coming to an end but that doesn’t mean my march of daily good stuff has to end. I have fun with words. Anyway, let’s start off with a video as we have returned to our regular format. It’s a spoof of a popular (and annoying song in my case). Let’s see if you recognize it; and then tell me which one is better:
Yes, I know. Pretty freaking awesome. Let’s get a joke in here:
Ah we made it. Well, not quite but it’s only a couple of days away. We all make those stupid new years resolutions that rarely make it past January. But hey, I have some goals for this next year.
Of course I’ll share them with you because…well…I don’t really know why. Crap.
Webshow
I talked to you recently about how I and my sisters are working on a web show. It won’t be like iCarly because our show will actually be funny. I’m writing out some scripts and I’m on the hunt for some decent video editing software. It’s really happening. I hope to get it up and running by March. I need a name for it…
DALANEL exclusive: A New Home
The only people that know about this are you, my lovely readers. I am in the process of creating a great play, called A New Home, that will be an unpublished book. Part of it is already written out in an unpublished book called One Play per Nipple which is actually a book that contains as many plays in it as I have nipples. I have 3 nipples so…yeah. I’m also aiming for a March release.
Restore The Sixer Sense
Over the past two months, my site The Sixer Sense, has been performing poorly for my standards. I already have a plan in place for that to improve the situation. Right now, it’s a mess. Also, I am still looking for my replacement as editor of the site. The reason why I want to leave the site ties into my next goal.
Recently, I posted how much I didn’t care for Facebook. Welp, I want to leave Facebook in 2013. As I mentioned above, being part of The Sixer Sense means I have to manage the Facebook page for the site. I actually put in to be a social media manager for the FanSided NBA division. If I get that role, I’ll most likely start posting on a regular basis on my hit page Nothing But Jokes. If I don’t get the position, I’ll find my editor replacement and keep it moving. I try to share and link this blog to Facebook but stats show I don’t get anything from there anyway.
Put more focus on school
In all of these other goals, I also would like to step up my academic game as well. It wasn’t a good past semester for me. I’m not very proud of my grades. I have said that I hate school. But, one thing I hate more than school is not performing well enough. To be honest, I’ve come to accept that I don’t like the subject that I’m currently majoring in. I never really enjoyed accounting. I’m looking at finance but seems closely related to accounting anyway. I would like to do something with numbers though. Maybe statistics would be a better fit. Such a lazy nerd if that exists.
Lead someone to Christ
I’ve always wanted to do this. One on one, I want to lead someone to accept Jesus as their personal Savior Granted, my books that I have published actually aim to do that. But, I would love to personally do it myself. And considering what is going on in my church soon, I may get my chance. I’m excited!
Break out of my comfort zone
I want to do something that I’ve never done. I want to do something that I’ve held myself back from for fear of rejection. I don’t know what that thing is though. Ask that cute girl out? Take that roller coaster by storm? Learn how to freakin swim!? I gotta do something this year that flat out scares me. Be a man. You’re 21 years old darn-it! Grow some balls and make something happen.
Get people buzzing about DALANEL
Numbers don’t lie. Not many folks read this blog. BUT, I’ve been posting consistently. My biggest problem is sharing the work. Don’t get me wrong, links go out Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and even Google+. But, it’s only one link. The more I share my stuff, the larger the audience and chances someone will read it. I already have a #DALANEL on Twitter. One day it will trend and it won’t be just by me.
So that’s what I want to do in 2013. It’s a tall order and I may not get everything done. But, out of the 8 things on this here list, if I can get through 6 of them, I’ll call it a win.
Baby steps. Happy New Year and all that crap.
-DALANEL
So you’re ready to make the greatest decision of your life? And yes, this is the smartest thing you can do. Accepting Jesus into your life is the best thing to do. I do want to say something though. It’s a quote from my book Spiritual Interpretations. In fact, it’s almost an entire chapter. It talks about what to expect when you first accept Jesus into your life. I just want you to know what you’re getting into. If you want to skip on ahead to the prayer, it’s at the bottom of the post.
There are many positives to accepting Jesus. For one thing, you now have eternal life. What you need to understand as an unsaved person, you are spiritually dead. Why? Jesus took our sinful lives to die on the cross so that we may have new life in Him. and the thing with Jesus’ life: it never dies. His spirit lives on forever and, if we accept Jesus, that spirit now lives in us.
Make sure you understand that Jesus died and took the ultimate punishment for us. Just like we are so grateful that the fireman saved us from the fire. But then, he died while getting you to safety. You were supposed to burn, but the fireman took your place. It’s basically the same thing with Jesus. You were supposed to be on that cross; but Jesus loved you enough to say that he would die for all of us so that we can live.
