Friendship can be a really cool thing. I don’t have friends, but, that’s because of me. Anyway, this post is for you and your friends to read together. Yay.
Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend. Albert Camus
An open rebuke is better than hidden love! Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy. Proverbs 27:5-6
Ha!
Remember one my 100th DGS, when I selected my favorites from 1-99? Welp, expect the same scenario. I’ll pick my favorites from 101-199. Just a heads up. Okay, on with the post.
A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. Charles Spurgeon
It’s the middle of the week. I’ve been on a writing tear lately with 11 posts since Saturday. My Wedturday posts are going into November. Oh, Wedturday is a combination of Wednesday and Saturday which are the days I normally post non featured posts. Anyway, I should be slowing it down a bit as I get myself together with this cantata. I have a really cool helper this year. She helped me last year too so she’s got some experience too. I’ll let you know in a post in a week or two.
Faith is a knowledge within the heart, beyond the reach of proof. Khalil Gibran
Eino and Toivo, two upper Michigan handymen were hired to paint a flag pole and were going to be paid by the inch. As they were standing at the base of the flagpole looking up, trying as they may to figure how much to charge, a young woman walked by and asked what they were doing.
“We are supposed to find the height of this flag pole” said Toivo, “But we don’t have a ladder. The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts and laid the pole down. She then took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement and announced, “Eighteen feet, six inches” and walked away.
Eino shook his head and laughed, “Ain’t that just like a woman! We asked for the height and she gives us the length!!”
A resident in a seaside hotel breakfast room called over the head waiter one morning.
“I want two boiled eggs, one of them so undercooked it’s runny, and the other so over cooked, it’s tough and hard to eat. Also, grilled bacon that has been left on the plate to get cold; burnt toast that crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; butter straight from the deep freeze, so that it’s impossible to spread; and a pot of very weak coffee, lukewarm.”
“That’s a complicated order, sir,” said the bewildered waiter. “It might be quite difficult.”
The guest replied, “Oh, but that’s what you gave me yesterday!”
A new business was opening and one of the owner’s friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card,…. “Rest in Peace.”
The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.
After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied, “Sir, I’m really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this: somewhere, there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying,… ‘Congratulations on your new location!'”
At a restaurant, one of the customers noticed that all of the waiters had two spoons in their vest pocket. Upon being asked, the waiter said, “We see that the most frequently dropped silverware are spoons, therefore we keep them for replacement.”
Then the customer noticed that a string was hanging out of all the waiters’ flies and asked what the string was for. “The string is for us to go to the bathroom,” explained the waiter, “that way, when we pull it, it shoots and aims right away. Then we don’t have to stop to wash our hands.”
The customer asked, “Well, that’s how you get it out, but how do you get it back in?” The waiter whispered confidentially, “I don’t know about the others, but I use the two spoons.”
-DALANEL
We gotta survive the rest of the week, y’all. We got this.
Family is not an important thing. It’s everything. Michael J. Fox
A man who had spent his whole life in the desert visited a friend. He’d never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the RR tracks, he heard a whistle, but didn’t know what it was. Predictably, he’s hit and is thrown, ass-over-tea-kettle, to the side of the tracks, with some minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises.
After weeks in the hospital recovering, he’s at his friend’s house attending a party. While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears the teakettle whistling. He grabs a baseball bat from the nearby closet and proceeds to batter and bash the teakettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen, sees what’s happened and asks the desert man, “Why’d you ruin my good tea kettle?”
The desert man replies, “Man, you gotta kill these things when they’re small.”
That was good.
Next time you go grocery shopping, it could end up being paid for. Kinda. Just look:
It appears a kind soul has been leaving cash in various stores around the Salem, Ore., area, including a Fred Meyer grocery store and a Wal-Mart, where customers have so far found more than $2,000 worth of $100 bills. They have reported finding $100 bills inside egg cartons, candles and inside boxes of cookies and ice cream cones at multiple locations.
Yup. The whole story is here.
Okay that’s it. Enjoy your weekend!
-DALANEL
Beauty is only skin deep. If you go after someone just because she’s beautiful but don’t have anything to talk about, it’s going to get boring fast. You want to look beyond the surface and see if you can have fun or if you have anything in common with this person. Amanda Peet
The sergeant replied, “Well sir, they usually just use it to ride into town.”
