Author: Dalanel

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Daily Good Stuff 83: Birthday Party!

Today is one of my sister’s birthday. But wait, she’s 16. Yeah, so it’s a big deal. So of course we have to do a birthday theme post.  The special part of my sister’s birthday is that we’re a month away from mine, and boy do I have a big party in store for the whole month. But let’s get Desiree out of the way. Before we do, here’s a pic of I and her goofing off:

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We’ll get it with a joke:

A couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town. He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range. “Look!” she said. “I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less. And my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me.” So, for her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.

Uh-oh! Alright well here’s a video:

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Daily Good Stuff 82

Look tomorrow is my sister’s birthday so expect a celebration tomorrow. My birthday is next month and I’m planning some big stuff. I know how to have a cyber party, baby! But let’s get on with today shall we?

A man was invited for dinner at a friend’s house. Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her “My Love”, “Darling”, “Sweetheart”, etc., etc. His friend looked at him and said, “That’s really nice after all of these years you’ve been married to keep saying those little pet names.” The host said, “Well, honestly, I’ve forgotten her name.”

And now for a special video, bro:

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Daily Good Stuff 81

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! It’s another week of good stuff and I gotta say, this number is special for me. It’s all in the root. Square root, that is. Check it: Square root of 81 is 9. Square root of 9 is 3. I have 3 nipples. I know. Okay so let’s get on with the show:

A resident in a posh hotel breakfast room called over the head waiter one morning and read from the menu. “I’d like one under-cooked egg so that it’s runny, and one over-cooked egg so that it’s tough and hard to eat. I’d also like grilled bacon which is a bit on the cold side, burnt toast, butter straight from the freezer so that it’s impossible to spread, and a pot of very weak, lukewarm coffee.” “That’s a complicated order sir,” said the bewildered waiter. “It might be quite difficult.” The guest replied sarcastically, “It can’t be that difficult because that’s exactly what you brought me yesterday!”

Oh I see, he rather just not have a good meal instead of expecting one and being disappointed. Got it. Check out this video:

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Daily Good Stuff 80

We made it to day 80. Whew! And it’s Saturday so we add on the weekly news updates (satire, good, weird/funny). So sit back and get ready for some really good stuff. As usual, it’s joke time:

Walking up to a department store’s fabric counter, the pretty girl said, “I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?” “Only one kiss per yard,” replied the male clerk with a smirk. “That’s fine,” said the girl. “I’ll take ten yards.” With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then teasingly held it out.

The girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old geezer standing beside her, and smiled, “Grandpa will pay the bill.”

Yeah that’s why we don’t joke around like that. Here’s a video:

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Daily Good Stuff 79

Alright it’s Friday! Where I am it’s basically a heat wave going on still from Wednesday and not expected to end until at least Monday. That’s cool…hot…fine with me. Let’s do our thing with a joke:

TOP TEN SIGNS YOUR SPOUSE IS HAVING A CYBER AFFAIR…

10. Lately, she sits at the computer naked.

9. After signing off, he always has a cigarette.

8. The giant rubber inflatable disk drive.

7. In the morning, the computer screen is all fogged up.

6. He’s gotten amazingly good at typing with one hand.

5. Every day, Bill Gates sends 10 million dollars worth of flowers.

4. The jam in the laser printer is a pair of underwear.

3. During sex she screams “A COLON BACKSLASH ENTER INSERT!!!!”

2. The fax file is filled with pictures of some guy’s ass.

1. Lipstick on the mouse.

Do you have a trampoline? Have you fallen off of it before? Well, check this video out:

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Daily Good Stuff 78

Well it’s another day, my friends. Earlier, I posted my latest episode of my breaking down the book series. Take a look if you haven’t already. I can’t even believe I made it this far on a daily basis but I’m going to have to get help very soon because this stuff can take its toll. But we’ll see. I enjoy it so it’s not like I feel like I HAVE to do it. It’s a joy for me. Let’s get to the joke.

An old man went to the social security office to sign up.
He had stood in the line for a very long time until it was finally his turn. The lady behind the counter ask him for identification. He went to get his wallet out of his back pocket and realized he had left it at home. The lady told him that was alright he could just show her his chest hairs and if they were grey she knew he was old enough for social security.

After everything was done there he went home and told his wife how his day went. He told her that he had forgotten his wallet at home and the lady at the social security office just ask him to pull down the front of his shirt and she could tell he was old enough.

After listening to his story his wife told him if he had dropped his pants he probably could have gotten disability too.

Aw man I don’t know if I want to live to see that. Well you already know from an older post I really don’t. As you saw on Tuesday, I promised people falling for the rest of the week with that exception for day 76. So here’s the video:

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