DALANEL

Daily Good Stuff 22: Twitter Style

Today is themed with Twitter stuff. Let’s start off with a story that is way too similar to mine. In a recent story from The Onion has a man with 10,000 tweets but only 15 followers. If you’re not familiar with Twitter, having 10k tweets means you’ve been tweeting for a while obviously.

The story is here.

Let’s get an image:

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Another story of my life. That’s when you start making changes from “are” to “r”. I hate that. I have a list here of some funny tweets, mostly by celebrities. Check that out. And now for some jokes that may make you hate me forever:

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Daily Good Stuff 21

Hey we’ll start off with a video. Now, you’ll need the volume up for this one because it’s all in the commentary of the actual video. So here we go:

Well, I had a good laugh. Now, for a joke:

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Daily Good Stuff 20: Dad’s Birthday

Today is my dad’s birthday so it’ll be a celebration here. Birthday themed stuff. You know. Anyway, here’s a quote to launch our party: You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22 years experience.  ~Author Unknown

Huh, that’s around my dad’s age. Of course, I won’t actually reveal his age. Alright let’s look at a birthday prank via video because yes we can. This one made it to the TV screen on a couple of shows actually:

Alright here’s something to keep the party going, baby!

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Daily Good Stuff 19

Hey let’s start it off with a list of things to do at the mall:

Top 10 Things to do at the Mall

10. At the bottom of an escalator, scream “MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!”
9. At the stylist, ask to have the hair on your back permed.

8. Ask a saleswoman whether a particular shade of panties matches the color of your beard.

7. Sneak up on saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray them with your own bottle of Eau de Swanke.

6. Collect stacks of paint brochures and hand them out as religious tracts.

5. At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on gerbils, and whether there’s much meat on them.

4. Hand a stack of pants back to the changing room attendant and scornfully announce that none of them are “leak proof”.

3. Ask appliance personnel if they have any TVs that play only in Spanish.

2. Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.

1. Show people your driver’s license and demand to know “whether they’ve seen this man.”

I know a couple I’m gonna have to try! Alright here’s a video:

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Daily Good Stuff

Hello all! Today, some would say it’s Easter. For me, it’s called Resurrection Sunday. The day our Lord and Savior rose from the dead 3 days after death. Now be cool, this isn’t a Bible lesson. I just wanted to say that this is indeed a “good stuff” for me as well as for every one else on this planet. So, the good stuff today will be Easter themed. Let’s get into it with a joke:

A man was blissfully driving along the highway, when he saw the Easter Bunny hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the Bunny, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of his car and was hit. The basket of eggs went flying all over the place.

The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the Bunny carrying the basket. Much to his dismay, the colorful Bunny was dead. The driver felt guilty and began to cry.

A woman driving down the same highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong. “I feel terrible,” he explained, “I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny and killed it. There may not be an Easter because of me. What should I do?”

The woman told the man not to worry. She knew exactly what to do. She went to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead Bunny, and sprayed the entire contents of the can onto the little furry animal. Miraculously the Easter Bunny came to back life, jumped up, picked up the spilled eggs and candy, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped on down the road. 50 yards away the Easter Bunny stopped, turned around, waved and hopped on down the road another 50 yards, turned, waved, hopped another 50 yards and waved again!

The man was astonished. He said to the woman: “What in heaven’s name is in your spray can? What was it that you sprayed on the Easter Bunny?”

The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: “Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave.”

Ha! Gotta love it. And what about a nice quote?

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Daily Good Stuff 18

Hey dudes and dudettes! It’s the weekend, my friends and while there’s changes going on in my world of writing, you can expect the same good stuff here. And, with less time committed to the blog, I can put more time into this one. So, let’s get going! We’ll go with a joke to kick things off:

The class assignment in composition was to write about something unusual that happened during the past week. Little Irving got up to read his. “Papa fell in the well last week – ” he began. “Good heavens,” shrieked Mrs. Kroop, the teacher. “Is he all right now?” “He must be,” said little Irving. “He stopped yelling for help yesterday.”

Oh well…that’s unfortunate. Here’s a video of a pretty neat prank:

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