DALANEL

Daily Good Stuff 11

Howdy! You already know what this is so let’s get to it. A joke for starters:

A woman arrived at a party. While scanning the guests, she spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him, smiled and said, “Hello. My name is Carmen.” “That’s a beautiful name,” he replied. “Is it a family name?” “No,” she replied. As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents the things that I enjoy the most – cars and men. Therefore I chose “Carmen”. “What’s your name?” she asked. He answered “B.J. Titsengolf.”

Excellent!

Okay now for a quote: No one ever really dies as long as they took the time to leave us with fond memories.  ~Chris Sorensen

Now for a video that could make me look like a big jerk:

Continue reading →

Daily Good Stuff 10

Ok I have to get this out of the way. This video for me is one of the greatest videos of all time. It never gets old. Have you heard of the grape stomping lady? Type it in on YouTube. Anyway, it’s oh so popular and just wonderful. Enjoy!

Continue reading →

Daily Good Stuff 9

Hey guys how are you? I guess you’ll be better once you’re through with this post. So let’s get to it!

We’ll start off with the quote this time: If I despised myself, it would be no compensation if everyone saluted me, and if I respect myself, it does not trouble me if others hold me lightly.  Max Nordau

I like that one. It explains itself.

Here’s a joke: A married man goes to confessional and says to the priest, “Father, I had an affair with a woman… almost.” “What do you mean almost?” question the priest. “Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.” “Rubbing together is the same as putting it in,” explains the priest. “You’re not to go near that woman again. Now, say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box.”

The man leaves confessional, says his prayers, and then walks over to the poor box. He pauses for a moment and then decides to leave. The priest quickly runs over to the man and exclaims, “I saw that… you didn’t put any money in the poor box!” “Well Father, I rubbed up against it and, like you said, it’s the same as putting it in!”

Welp! And now, here’s an image:

Continue reading →

Daily Good Stuff 8

Hey everybody! It’s hump day so grab that significant other and-what? It’s not that kind of hump? I guess I owe a couple of strangers an apology. As you saw, we have reached the century mark on DALANEL posts. And we’re just getting started. Today, we’ll look at a comedian for our video. Weird and good news are not reported so often so I think I’m going to make a change and post them once a week. I’m going to be experimenting on other things to add to the list of good things here.

Anyway, here’s your video:

I think I just found my new hobby!

Continue reading →

DALANEL Posting Milestone

DALANEL has reached a new posting milestone. So, can you guess how many posts have been on the site? 500? Nah, lower. 400? Er…no. 300…*coughs* um, not 200. No, it’s just 100. But hey, we gotta start from somewhere. Many blogs are started but never hit this mark. Of course, this blog started in February 2011 so this milestone is actually pretty bad. But hey, I’m here. Made it. And that’s all that counts, bro. Or sis.

This is so unexpected (pulls out prewritten note of thanks). I would like to thank God for giving me the talent and desire to write. I would like to thank Dallas T as she posted only once but it’s only right to say I couldn’t have done this without her.

I would like to thank you, the readers, for your continued support. My other blog, The Sixer Sense, is on the verge of getting to 1,000 posts so you can imagine what I’ve been up to over there. But I’ve only posted about 300 or so so (I hate repeating words like that) a lot of work over years was put into the blog.

I hope you’ve enjoyed the Daily Good Stuff posts. Of course they’ll keep coming. Here’s to another 100 posts of pure awesomeness.

-DALANEL

Daily Good Stuff 7

Hey it’s a new day! I know most of us dread the Mondays but that’s why we’re here. Let’s start the workweek right with some cool stuff. First, we’ll poke about a joke:

This guy suspects his wife is cheating on him. He comes home early and she meets him at the door in a bathrobe, her hair a mess. “Where is he?” he shouts. “Where’s the guy who’s been sleeping with you?” “I don’t know what you’re talking about” she says so he tears the house apart looking for this guy. Finally he’s on the second floor, in the kitchen, he looks out the window and sees some guy sitting in a Volkswagen. “Aha!” he thinks, “That’s the guy who’s been sleeping with my wife.” He’s so furious he picks up the refrigerator, throws it out the window at the guy, has a heart attack and dies.

So St. Peter meets him at the gates of Heaven and asks “What are you doing here?” The guy says “Well, I knew my wife was cheating on me so I came home early from work, saw him sitting in his Volkswagen out on the street, threw the refrigerator at him, I had a heart attack and died.” St. Peter says “You don’t belong here; go to Hell.” He pulls a big lever, a trap door opens up and the guy disappears.

A few minutes later another guy comes up to St. Peter at the gates of Heaven. St. Peter asks “What are you doing here?” The guy says “I don’t know! I was just sitting in my Volkswagen, minding my own business, when suddenly somebody throws a refrigerator at me.” St. Peter wags his finger and says “I heard about you… you go to Hell too.” He pulls the lever and the guy disappears.

A few minutes later another guy comes up to St. Peter at the gates of Heaven. St. Peter asks “What are you doing here?” The guy says “I don’t know! I was just sitting in a refrigerator, minding my own business…”

Wow. The story is a stretch but hey it’s funny. Yesterday, I tried and failed with the video. Today, it’s working so let’s get to it. We have a bunch of folks who didn’t do so well in Who Wants to Be A Millionaire. Let’s watch:

Continue reading →