good news

Daily Good Stuff 80

We made it to day 80. Whew! And it’s Saturday so we add on the weekly news updates (satire, good, weird/funny). So sit back and get ready for some really good stuff. As usual, it’s joke time:

Walking up to a department store’s fabric counter, the pretty girl said, “I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?” “Only one kiss per yard,” replied the male clerk with a smirk. “That’s fine,” said the girl. “I’ll take ten yards.” With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then teasingly held it out.

The girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old geezer standing beside her, and smiled, “Grandpa will pay the bill.”

Yeah that’s why we don’t joke around like that. Here’s a video:

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Daily Good Stuff 73

Alright looking good, looking good. We’re at day 73 and I’m actually a little surprised. Today we’ll get into more stuff since I’ll be adding news updates as well. Let’s do with the joke:

A blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom.

She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, “I’ve kidnapped you.”

She then wrote a big note saying, “I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde.”

The blonde then pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, “How could you do this to a fellow blonde?”

Cruel world we live in. Alright on to the video:

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Daily Good Stuff 65

TGIF! We’ll start Friday off with the latest news.

A woman refuses to let her dreams die. Well, in this case it’s a little too late. A 25 year-old woman still has hopes of being the popular kid in high school. Hey…sweetie, maybe it’s time to move on. Just my opinion.

Next, we have a firefighter saving a cat. Oh this is in the weird/funny news category. You see, he wasn’t just saving the cat, he was saving a police officer stuck in the tree who attempted to save the cat. And there’s your twist!

Lastly, we got a kid who saved his dad’s life. AND IT HAPPENED IN NEW JERSEY YAY *clears throat* Anyway, the dad was driving and ended up suffering a stroke. He pulled the car over and it was up to the kid to make a move. He called his grandma who made a 3-way call with his (the boy’s) mom. There was still the question of where they were. The 5-year old boy was able to spell out where they were. Here’s what they had to say about this kid:

“Nathaniel is a very smart guy,’’ Coleman said. “He has great diction, and when you hear him talk, you would never think he’s only five. He’s on a third-grade level. He already spells words like ‘decipher’ and understands concepts that the average elementary school student at his age does not.”

Amazing. And now on to images:

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Daily Good Stuff 64

It’s Thursday! Earlier, you saw my first episode of my video series. Let the good stuff keep on rollin’! Let’s look at this joke:

Grandpa and grandma were watching the television evangelical show and the preacher said, if the viewers at home wanted to be healed, place one hand on the television set and the other hand on the body part where they wanted to be healed.

Grandma got up and slowly hobbled to the television set, placed her right hand on the set and her left hand on her arthritic shoulder that was causing her to have great pain.

Then Grandpa got up, went to the TV, placed his right hand on the set and his left hand on his crotch.

Grandma scowled at him and said, “I guess you just don’t get it. The purpose of doing this is to heal the sick, not to raise the dead.”

Sorry, fellas. A couple of images:

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Daily Good Stuff 61

So this is Monday. Ugh. You know, sometimes when I’m in a bad mood, just creating these posts puts me in a good mood. These are one of those days so bare with me. Why don’t we get started with a video.

Nice.

Ways To Have Fun in the Workplace

Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.

Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after you boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is of a different gender than you.

Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. “That’s a good point, Sparky.” “No, I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to disagree with you there, Cha-Cha.”

Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you’re doing. For example: “If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom.”

Hi-Lite your shoes. Tell people you haven’t lost them as much since you did this.

While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive liquid. Call everyone Marge.

Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge to get coffee or a printout or whatever, slap yourself randomly the whole way.

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Daily Good Stuff 55

Have you checked out my intro video to my Breaking Down the Book series? For the next few days I’ll probably shove it down your throat whenever I can so bare with me because I do understand some would not be interested and that’s fine. I do think it would be a great benefit for you though but that’s my opinion.

So let’s get this lifted with the latest news.

A woman was being stalked on Facebook by herself. Okay let me say it like this: She created a profile of her ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend and tried to frame her for it. Eventually crazy lady got caught. Man, the places people will go. The things we’ll do.

A boy battling cancer got to play with his favorite soccer team thanks to Make A Wish Foundation. Boy, I’d like to play with the Philadelphia 76ers any time. Oh well, I’m not dying or anything so too bad for me. Still, must have been cool for the kid.

Here’s some images now, first a fantastic soccer play:

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