Yup, I keep expanding this thing. Now we have GIF images to look forward to. So why don’t we start it off with one. In this lesson, we remember that no means no. There are so many sex/rape jokes I could use but then you would be offended so I’ll chill. But here we go:
Alright, and now for the rest of the stuff. Here’s a joke:
It’s FRIDAY. Are you ready for the weekend? Where I live the weather is expected to be nice. Maybe I’ll keep it simple and shoot some hoops during the day and watch the NBA Playoffs at night. We got a man stealing nail polish, Manti Te’o’s girlfriend, solving a cough problem in a creative way, and more. So how about we get started with a joke:
The owner of a drugstore arrives at work to find a man leaning heavily against a wall. The owner goes inside and asks his clerk what’s up. “He wanted something for his cough, but I couldn’t find the cough syrup,” the clerk explains. “So I gave him a laxative and told him to take it all at once.” “Laxatives won’t cure a cough, you idiot,” the owner shouts angrily.
“Sure it will,” the clerk says, pointing at the man leaning on the wall. “Look at him. He’s afraid to cough.”
Yeah that’s great. What about an image:
Well my sister and mom are sick in bed so I’m going to attempt to make this a “get well” slash medical themed post. We have an awesome doctor prank, the miracles of toilet paper, new way to remember things, and so much more! Being sick sucks, but we can’t let it keep us down, okay? Let’s get this thing started with an image:
Yup, keeping it real, yo. What about a video:
As you can see, I’m not labeling each day. This is day 41. All previous posts are labeled. That way, for you and for me, it’ll be a little easier to find a DGS post that you like. Anyway, let’s get this terrific Tuesday off on the right foot with a joke:
After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.
The guy from Corona sits down and says, “Hey Senor, I would like the world’s best beer, a Corona.” The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from Budweiser says, “I’d like the best beer in the world, give me ‘The King Of Beers’, a Budweiser.” The bartender gives him one. The guy from Coors says, “I’d like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors.” He gets it. The guy from Guinness sits down and says, “Give me a Coke.” The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.
The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask “Why aren’t you drinking a Guinness?” and the Guinness president replies, “Well, I figured if you guys aren’t drinking beer, neither would I.”
Of course! And now this:
Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. Hebrews 12:14
The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire- Ferdinand Foch
A woman and her lover are in bed together when hubbie comes home. The woman jumps up, shoves the guy in a corner of the bedroom, rubs him down in baby oil and covers him in talcum powder.
‘Don’t move! You’re a statue!’
The husband comes up to the bedroom and inquires about the new decoration. The wife explains that the Smith family next door acquired a statue for their bedroom recently, and if they could get one, so could she.
The married couple go to bed, but at midnight the husband goes downstairs, gets a glass of milk and some cookies, and comes back upstairs. He hands the snack to the statue and says, “Here. I stood around for 3 days at the Smiths’, and they never fed me a thing!”
Another day for good stuff. Are you ready? Please say that you are. Either way, it’s happening so might as well accept it. We have trouble with school, a kind cop, some “twisted” weather, and more! Kick this thang off with a joke:
One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself. Tom wasn’t happy about that: “When are you going to learn to be polite?” Bill: “If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?” Tom: “The smaller piece, of course.”
Bill: “What are you whining about then? The smaller piece is what you want, right?”
Yeah that’s just great. Everybody wins…except for:
