Daily Good Stuff 154: Tell A Joke Day

Today is a holiday known as “Tell A Joke Day”. So today is nothing but jokes. Enjoy, and share with your friends.

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A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car.

“They’ve stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!” he cried out.

However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice came over the line.

“Never mind,” he said with a hiccup, “I got in the back seat by mistake.”

Joke #2

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office.

After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die.”

“Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don’t burden him with chores. Don’t discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. No nagging. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely.”

On the way home, the husband asked his wife. “What did the doctor say?”

“He said you’re going to die,” she replied.

Joke #3

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Daily Good Stuff 153

May the Lord direct your hearts into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance. 2 Thessalonians 3:5

A smile is a facelift that’s in everyone’s price range! Tom Wilson

And this image shows people are still struggling with new technology:

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Joke:

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Daily Good Stuff 152

To change what you get you must change who you are. Vernon Howard

“No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.” Luke 6:43-45

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I feel like maybe not a complete accident? Speaking of accidents…here’s a fail videooooo!

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Daily Good Stuff 151

Tuesday is here. I hope you enjoyed the latest scene of The Face Off posted earlier. I think you’re gonna like today’s post. Quote and scripture up first:

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. Psalm 62:1

Justice is truth in action. Benjamin Disraeli
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Yeah, no kidding. And here’s some news bloopers. There is one f-bomb:

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Daily Good Stuff 150

And behold! It is Monday. Earlier, you saw the epic return of Weekly Funnies. Let’s go ahead and get this post started though.

The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love. Hubert H. Humphrey

But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 15:57

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Boy, that’s tough.

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Weekly Funnies 11

It’s baaaack! Last time I posted a Weekly Funnies was in February. So just to reintroduce you to what goes on here, WF shares a bunch of funny items like videos, jokes, and images. Sit back, and have a laugh.

Let’s start off with a classic:

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That’s messed up.

Next, we have a joke:

A drunk in a bar pukes all over his own shirt, which was brand new before he came in. “Damn,” he says. “I puked on my shirt again. If the wife finds out, she’s gonna kill me.”

“Not to worry,” says the bartender as he sticks a $20 bill in the drunk’s pocket. “Just tell her someone puked on you and gave you some cash to cover the cleaning bill.”

So the drunk goes home and tells his wife about the guy who puked on him. She reaches into his pocket and finds two twenties. “Why are there two twenties?” she asks.

The drunk replies, “Oh, yeah, he crapped in my pants, too.”

Sure, he did. Okay here’s a video I absolutely love. Now, if you’re sensitive to the f word, then just move on to the next thing. I’d say you’re missing out but to each his own:

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