Let’s get right to it. A joke:
A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s day. What do you think it means?”
“You’ll know tonight.” he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it–only to find a book entitled “The meaning of dreams”.
Well how about that? And here’s a video:
Today I’m leaning towards a Dallas T themed affair. She only has one post on here and I’m wondering if putting her on the spot will spark another one. Or, it could backfire and I end up losing my life or something. Never underestimate the power of Dallas T. So, since she’s my star cheerleader, we’ll make this a sexy cheery theme post. Ready? OK!
Why don’t we jump off with a joke:
One day two girls were trying out for the school cheerleading squad. One was a blonde and one was a brunette. After they both had tryouts, they went home to wait until the results were posted. The blonde goes to see if she made it that night. Once she found out she made it she got out her cell phone and called the brunette, but she didn’t answer, so the blonde just went back home. The next day the brunette called the blonde to see if she wanted to go with her to look at their scores. The blonde says sure and meets the brunette at the school. The brunette beats the blonde to the school, so she goes ahead and looks at the scores to find out they both made it. When the blonde gets there, she finds her name on the list again. Then she says, ”Yes!! I made it again, I made it last night and I made it again today. I am on a roll!’ ‘
Awww how about that? Alright well here’s an image:
Today is themed with Twitter stuff. Let’s start off with a story that is way too similar to mine. In a recent story from The Onion has a man with 10,000 tweets but only 15 followers. If you’re not familiar with Twitter, having 10k tweets means you’ve been tweeting for a while obviously.
The story is here.
Let’s get an image:
Another story of my life. That’s when you start making changes from “are” to “r”. I hate that. I have a list here of some funny tweets, mostly by celebrities. Check that out. And now for some jokes that may make you hate me forever:
Hey we’ll start off with a video. Now, you’ll need the volume up for this one because it’s all in the commentary of the actual video. So here we go:
Well, I had a good laugh. Now, for a joke:
Today is my dad’s birthday so it’ll be a celebration here. Birthday themed stuff. You know. Anyway, here’s a quote to launch our party: You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
Huh, that’s around my dad’s age. Of course, I won’t actually reveal his age. Alright let’s look at a birthday prank via video because yes we can. This one made it to the TV screen on a couple of shows actually:
Alright here’s something to keep the party going, baby!
Hey let’s start it off with a list of things to do at the mall:
Top 10 Things to do at the Mall
10. At the bottom of an escalator, scream “MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!”
9. At the stylist, ask to have the hair on your back permed.
8. Ask a saleswoman whether a particular shade of panties matches the color of your beard.
7. Sneak up on saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray them with your own bottle of Eau de Swanke.
6. Collect stacks of paint brochures and hand them out as religious tracts.
5. At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on gerbils, and whether there’s much meat on them.
4. Hand a stack of pants back to the changing room attendant and scornfully announce that none of them are “leak proof”.
3. Ask appliance personnel if they have any TVs that play only in Spanish.
2. Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.
1. Show people your driver’s license and demand to know “whether they’ve seen this man.”
I know a couple I’m gonna have to try! Alright here’s a video:
