How ya doing? Enjoy the Super Bowl? Loved the commercials? Well here’s a nice top ten list of Super Bowl commercials. And while the ten end before the video ends, hang in there because there is an honorable mention as well.
You like? What commercials did you expect to see there that wasn’t?
Here we go again! Things are gonna look a little different today but you’ll still laugh and that’s all that matter. First, a couple of links to get you start. Link number one brings us to Autocorrect fails. I was literally LMAO and spent all of last night just destroying the site with my browsing.
Number two has some pretty funny pranks using street signs.
Here’s a video in keeping with The Onion theme I have going on:
This week I’ve added a little somethin, somethin: Riddles. So that brings us to a joke, funny image, weird news, video and the riddle. Don’t worry, I’m not some crazed villain of the Dark Knight (HE’S BATMAN) or anything. Just want to tickle your brain. You can interpret “tickle” any way you like. Wink.
A student called up his Mom one evening from his college and asked her for some money, because he was broke. His Mother said, “Sure, sweetie. I will send you some money. You also left your economics book here when you visited two weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?”
“Uhh, oh yeah, O.K.” responded the kid. So his Mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package, kissed Dad goodbye, and went to the post office to mail the money and the book. When she gets back, Dad asked, “Well how much did you give the boy this time?”
“Oh, I wrote two checks, one for $20, and the other for $1,000.”
“That’s $1020!!!” yelled Dad, “Are you going crazy???”
“Don’t worry hon,” Mom said, kissed Dad on the on top of his bald head, “I taped the $20 check to the cover of his book, but I put the $1,000 one somewhere between the pages in chapter 15!”
And here’s a video:
This week, on Weekly funnies, we have idiots on Facebook, an ignorant father that still encourages his son to ask him things, and of course we get the exclusive behind the scenes look into Elmo’s World. So let’s get to it!
Another week of funny stuff! It’s the last one of the year. Let’s get to it. Let’s start with a joke:
A priest and a nun are on their way back home from a trip when their car breaks down. They are unable to get it fixed, so they decide to spend the night in a hotel. The only hotel in the town has only one room available.
Priest: Sister, I don’t think the Lord would have a problem, under the circumstances, if we spent the night together in this one room. I’ll sleep on the lounge and you have the bed.
Nun: I think that would be okay.
They prepare for bed and each one takes their agreed place in the room. Ten minutes later…
Nun: Father, I’m terribly cold.
Priest: Okay, I’ll get you a blanket. (He does)
Ten minutes later…
Nun: Father, I’m still terribly cold.
Priest: Okay Sister, I’ll get you another blanket. (He does)
Ten minutes later…
Nun: Father, I’m still terribly cold. I don’t think the Lord would mind if we acted as man and wife just for this one night.
Priest: You’re probably right…get up and get your own blanket.
Okay pretty good. Let’s hit a video:
Another round of good times. I’m aiming for a Christmas theme for obvious reasons. Let’s shake things up with the weird news first. A woman apparently was attacked with a sock filled with…well…poop. Feces. Doo-doo. Shit. The brown stuff (sometimes green and even red. Ew.).
Welp, here’s a Christmas gift from me to you: TWO JOKES. Here’s joke #1:
Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something relating or associated with Christmas.
The first man searches his pocket, and finds some Mistletoe, so he is allowed in.
The second man presents a cracker, so he is also allowed in.
The third man pulls out a pair of stockings.
Confused at this last gesture, St. Peter asks, “How do these represent Christmas?”
Answer… “They’re Carol’s.”
Ahhhh okay here’s a list you can try: 20 ways to confuse Santa
1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
2. While he’s in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.
3. Leave him a note, explaining that you’ve gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.
4. While he’s in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.
5. Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!
6. Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say “We hate Christmas,” and “Go away Santa.”
7. Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.
8. Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney. Refuse to let him leave until the strippers arrive.
9. While he’s in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn’t have missed that last payment, and take off.
10. Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, “For The Tooth Fairy. :)” Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note that says, “For Santa. :(”
11. Take everything out of your house as if it’s just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, “Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime.”
12. Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.
13. While he’s in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.
14. Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa’s sure to see them. Go outside, yell, “Ooh! Look! A deer! And he’s got a red nose!” and fire a gun.
15. Leave Santa a note, explaining that you’ve moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.
16. Set a bear trap at the bottom of the chimney. Wait for Santa to get caught in it, and then explain that you’re sorry, but from a distance, he looked like a bear.
17. Leave out a Santa suit, with an attached dry-cleaning bill.
18. Paint “hoof-prints” all over your face and clothes. While he’s in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you’ve been “trampled.” Threaten to sue for personal injury.
19. Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs.
20. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, “This neighborhood ain’t big enough for the both of us.
Okay cool let’s see a video:
Absolutely precious. And here’s an image:
Such a kiss-up. Happy Holidays baby!
