It’s the inaugural post of Good Friday. I just share a few stories each week that make the world seem not as bad.
Our first one is about sisters who reunited with each other through Facebook. These types of stories prove that Facebook isn’t the bad thing; it’s how you use it that counts.
In the story, we see that the sisters were 130 miles apart. They had lost each other during WWII and were separated for 72 years. Now, the sisters are 88 and 82 and are looking for a brother who apparently could be in the U.S. (the sisters are in Bosnia). I hope they do find their brother, but considering their ages…ah never mind.
Keep it quick. New here at DALANEL, I’ll be doing “Good Friday” posts where I look for news of the “good” variety and post them here on…yup, you got it, Friday. So in all we have our Weekly Funnies, Hidden Solution, and now Good Friday. Also, latest Dante news from around the web on a periodic basis.
And an update on the web show is that we’re close to filming our first sketch. By February we should have something up definitely. It’ll be a once a week show and it’ll be uploaded on YouTube but I’ll constantly link it here too. It won’t be part of the Weekly Funnies though so you’ll still get funny videos from around the globe internet.
This week, on Weekly funnies, we have idiots on Facebook, an ignorant father that still encourages his son to ask him things, and of course we get the exclusive behind the scenes look into Elmo’s World. So let’s get to it!
Another week of funny stuff! It’s the last one of the year. Let’s get to it. Let’s start with a joke:
A priest and a nun are on their way back home from a trip when their car breaks down. They are unable to get it fixed, so they decide to spend the night in a hotel. The only hotel in the town has only one room available.
Priest: Sister, I don’t think the Lord would have a problem, under the circumstances, if we spent the night together in this one room. I’ll sleep on the lounge and you have the bed.
Nun: I think that would be okay.
They prepare for bed and each one takes their agreed place in the room. Ten minutes later…
Nun: Father, I’m terribly cold.
Priest: Okay, I’ll get you a blanket. (He does)
Ten minutes later…
Nun: Father, I’m still terribly cold.
Priest: Okay Sister, I’ll get you another blanket. (He does)
Ten minutes later…
Nun: Father, I’m still terribly cold. I don’t think the Lord would mind if we acted as man and wife just for this one night.
Priest: You’re probably right…get up and get your own blanket.
Ah we made it. Well, not quite but it’s only a couple of days away. We all make those stupid new years resolutions that rarely make it past January. But hey, I have some goals for this next year.
Of course I’ll share them with you because…well…I don’t really know why. Crap.
Webshow
I talked to you recently about how I and my sisters are working on a web show. It won’t be like iCarly because our show will actually be funny. I’m writing out some scripts and I’m on the hunt for some decent video editing software. It’s really happening. I hope to get it up and running by March. I need a name for it…
DALANEL exclusive: A New Home
The only people that know about this are you, my lovely readers. I am in the process of creating a great play, called A New Home, that will be an unpublished book. Part of it is already written out in an unpublished book called One Play per Nipple which is actually a book that contains as many plays in it as I have nipples. I have 3 nipples so…yeah. I’m also aiming for a March release.
Restore The Sixer Sense
Over the past two months, my site The Sixer Sense, has been performing poorly for my standards. I already have a plan in place for that to improve the situation. Right now, it’s a mess. Also, I am still looking for my replacement as editor of the site. The reason why I want to leave the site ties into my next goal.
Facebook
Recently, I posted how much I didn’t care for Facebook. Welp, I want to leave Facebook in 2013. As I mentioned above, being part of The Sixer Sense means I have to manage the Facebook page for the site. I actually put in to be a social media manager for the FanSided NBA division. If I get that role, I’ll most likely start posting on a regular basis on my hit page Nothing But Jokes. If I don’t get the position, I’ll find my editor replacement and keep it moving. I try to share and link this blog to Facebook but stats show I don’t get anything from there anyway.
Put more focus on school
In all of these other goals, I also would like to step up my academic game as well. It wasn’t a good past semester for me. I’m not very proud of my grades. I have said that I hate school. But, one thing I hate more than school is not performing well enough. To be honest, I’ve come to accept that I don’t like the subject that I’m currently majoring in. I never really enjoyed accounting. I’m looking at finance but seems closely related to accounting anyway. I would like to do something with numbers though. Maybe statistics would be a better fit. Such a lazy nerd if that exists.
Lead someone to Christ
I’ve always wanted to do this. One on one, I want to lead someone to accept Jesus as their personal Savior Granted, my books that I have published actually aim to do that. But, I would love to personally do it myself. And considering what is going on in my church soon, I may get my chance. I’m excited!
Break out of my comfort zone
I want to do something that I’ve never done. I want to do something that I’ve held myself back from for fear of rejection. I don’t know what that thing is though. Ask that cute girl out? Take that roller coaster by storm? Learn how to freakin swim!? I gotta do something this year that flat out scares me. Be a man. You’re 21 years old darn-it! Grow some balls and make something happen.
Get people buzzing about DALANEL
Numbers don’t lie. Not many folks read this blog. BUT, I’ve been posting consistently. My biggest problem is sharing the work. Don’t get me wrong, links go out Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and even Google+. But, it’s only one link. The more I share my stuff, the larger the audience and chances someone will read it. I already have a #DALANEL on Twitter. One day it will trend and it won’t be just by me.
So that’s what I want to do in 2013. It’s a tall order and I may not get everything done. But, out of the 8 things on this here list, if I can get through 6 of them, I’ll call it a win.
Another round of good times. I’m aiming for a Christmas theme for obvious reasons. Let’s shake things up with the weird news first. A woman apparently was attacked with a sock filled with…well…poop. Feces. Doo-doo. Shit. The brown stuff (sometimes green and even red. Ew.).
Welp, here’s a Christmas gift from me to you: TWO JOKES. Here’s joke #1:
Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something relating or associated with Christmas.
The first man searches his pocket, and finds some Mistletoe, so he is allowed in.
The second man presents a cracker, so he is also allowed in.
The third man pulls out a pair of stockings.
Confused at this last gesture, St. Peter asks, “How do these represent Christmas?”
Answer… “They’re Carol’s.”
Ahhhh okay here’s a list you can try: 20 ways to confuse Santa
1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
2. While he’s in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.
3. Leave him a note, explaining that you’ve gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.
4. While he’s in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.
5. Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!
6. Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say “We hate Christmas,” and “Go away Santa.”
7. Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.
8. Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney. Refuse to let him leave until the strippers arrive.
9. While he’s in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn’t have missed that last payment, and take off.
10. Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, “For The Tooth Fairy. :)” Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note that says, “For Santa. :(”
11. Take everything out of your house as if it’s just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, “Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime.”
12. Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.
13. While he’s in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.
14. Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa’s sure to see them. Go outside, yell, “Ooh! Look! A deer! And he’s got a red nose!” and fire a gun.
15. Leave Santa a note, explaining that you’ve moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.
16. Set a bear trap at the bottom of the chimney. Wait for Santa to get caught in it, and then explain that you’re sorry, but from a distance, he looked like a bear.
17. Leave out a Santa suit, with an attached dry-cleaning bill.
18. Paint “hoof-prints” all over your face and clothes. While he’s in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you’ve been “trampled.” Threaten to sue for personal injury.
19. Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs.
20. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, “This neighborhood ain’t big enough for the both of us.
