Ok I have to get this out of the way. This video for me is one of the greatest videos of all time. It never gets old. Have you heard of the grape stomping lady? Type it in on YouTube. Anyway, it’s oh so popular and just wonderful. Enjoy!
jokes
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Hey guys how are you? I guess you’ll be better once you’re through with this post. So let’s get to it!
We’ll start off with the quote this time: If I despised myself, it would be no compensation if everyone saluted me, and if I respect myself, it does not trouble me if others hold me lightly. Max Nordau
I like that one. It explains itself.
Here’s a joke: A married man goes to confessional and says to the priest, “Father, I had an affair with a woman… almost.” “What do you mean almost?” question the priest. “Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.” “Rubbing together is the same as putting it in,” explains the priest. “You’re not to go near that woman again. Now, say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box.”
The man leaves confessional, says his prayers, and then walks over to the poor box. He pauses for a moment and then decides to leave. The priest quickly runs over to the man and exclaims, “I saw that… you didn’t put any money in the poor box!” “Well Father, I rubbed up against it and, like you said, it’s the same as putting it in!”
Welp! And now, here’s an image:
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Hey everybody! It’s hump day so grab that significant other and-what? It’s not that kind of hump? I guess I owe a couple of strangers an apology. As you saw, we have reached the century mark on DALANEL posts. And we’re just getting started. Today, we’ll look at a comedian for our video. Weird and good news are not reported so often so I think I’m going to make a change and post them once a week. I’m going to be experimenting on other things to add to the list of good things here.
Anyway, here’s your video:
I think I just found my new hobby!
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Hey it’s a new day! I know most of us dread the Mondays but that’s why we’re here. Let’s start the workweek right with some cool stuff. First, we’ll poke about a joke:
This guy suspects his wife is cheating on him. He comes home early and she meets him at the door in a bathrobe, her hair a mess. “Where is he?” he shouts. “Where’s the guy who’s been sleeping with you?” “I don’t know what you’re talking about” she says so he tears the house apart looking for this guy. Finally he’s on the second floor, in the kitchen, he looks out the window and sees some guy sitting in a Volkswagen. “Aha!” he thinks, “That’s the guy who’s been sleeping with my wife.” He’s so furious he picks up the refrigerator, throws it out the window at the guy, has a heart attack and dies.
So St. Peter meets him at the gates of Heaven and asks “What are you doing here?” The guy says “Well, I knew my wife was cheating on me so I came home early from work, saw him sitting in his Volkswagen out on the street, threw the refrigerator at him, I had a heart attack and died.” St. Peter says “You don’t belong here; go to Hell.” He pulls a big lever, a trap door opens up and the guy disappears.
A few minutes later another guy comes up to St. Peter at the gates of Heaven. St. Peter asks “What are you doing here?” The guy says “I don’t know! I was just sitting in my Volkswagen, minding my own business, when suddenly somebody throws a refrigerator at me.” St. Peter wags his finger and says “I heard about you… you go to Hell too.” He pulls the lever and the guy disappears.
A few minutes later another guy comes up to St. Peter at the gates of Heaven. St. Peter asks “What are you doing here?” The guy says “I don’t know! I was just sitting in a refrigerator, minding my own business…”
Wow. The story is a stretch but hey it’s funny. Yesterday, I tried and failed with the video. Today, it’s working so let’s get to it. We have a bunch of folks who didn’t do so well in Who Wants to Be A Millionaire. Let’s watch:
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Letting you know, WordPress is giving me problems with videos so nothing today. We still got the other usual stuff though so let’s get things off with a joke. And, as a church goer, you can expect some “church” themed stuff.
A visiting minister waxed eloquent during the offertory prayer. He began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face,”Without you we are but dust… ” He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter(who was listening!) leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, “Mom, what is butt dust?”
Well ain’t that something. I wonder about stuff I read in the Bible myself.
In this episode of misleading church signs…
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Alright it’s Saturday. Enjoy your weekend everybody. Try to relax. And of course, make sure you share this post with your stressed out friends.
On Friday, I failed to put up a video, even though I led you to believe that there was something there. So, I’ll make up for that with two videos. How’s that sound? You still love me, right? RIGHT?
And here’s video number two:
